I tried buying Jon Stewart tickets this morning. First try, for the $65 tickets: found two tickets, but it told me the sightlines would be obstructed. Screw that, I’m not paying $65 for an obstructed view. Cancel order. Try again with the $75 tickets. Still obstructed, and these seats are even further back than the $65 tickets. The hell? Screw that, I’ll get the $65 tickets. Cancel order. Try again using $65. Nothing available. You bitch. Tried again using any price, any seat. Nothing available. Sold out. Arrrgghhhhhksasdkofprgjrgnb65842thgihgir8g.

I could’ve gotten them from the Massey Hall website, but now I’m not so sure they’re worth $85 each when I can just watch him on TV every night.