Here’s how I know Fed-Ex doesn’t have a Britney sex tape: in an interview yesterday his friend was quoted as saying,

“At the time (the video was made) the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex – and play the odd game of chess. They were insatiable.”

Chess? The friend expects us to believe that Kevin Federline and Britney Spears played chess?! C’mon. I suppose next a close friend of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow will reveal their plans to buy a leaky oil tanker.

I suppose this might just mean that the friend is full of shit, or it could simply confirm that The Sun is toilet paper masquerading as news, but I prefer to think of it as evidence that K-Fed’s desperation is beginning to overwhelm him. I’m hoping he’ll implode soon and we can go back to worrying about real problems, like what Bono thinks of Madonna’s adoption.

[tags]unimportant bullshit[/tags]