Wait…wasn't she some kind of Russian witch?

While walking to work today I noticed a sign in a store window that read, “Clinical strength Cutera Yag.” I thought to myself, That’s good, ’cause when I eat* Cutera Yag I’d only want the strongest, most medicinal kind.

Seriously, I don’t know why anyone would even bother with the mild version. What’s the point of buying some Cutera Yag if it’s just weak-ass shit that won’t do the job. I mean, really. I should also point out that the store was in/near Yorkville, so you just know that all the crazy plastic ladies who lunch who hang out around there wouldn’t be having no substandard Cutera Yag.

* It should be obvious by now that I haven’t a fucking clue what Cutera Yag is. I also have no idea what one does with it…does one eat it? Smoke it? Rub it on one’s skin or else it gets the hose again?

UPDATE: a Cutera Yag is some kind of laser that destroys hair and veins. Or something. So there you go. You learn something new, expensive and retarded every day.

[Journey] "When the lights…go out…in the city…" [/Journey]

OK, it wasn’t quite that dramatic — this is a camera effect, not reality — but Earth Hour was at least noticeable from our balcony. We had CBGB over to observe the darkening, and while the effects from here weren’t as dramatic as if we’d be airborne, we could see the difference. Toronto even exceeded their 5% power reduction target.

Nellie was struggling to get good night shots — she still needs a decent tripod — but a few turned out. You can see them over at my flickr account.

[tags]earth hour, toronto[/tags]

Et le but

Last night I went straight from work to the Auld Spot, to meet up with Nellie & CBGB. A good unwinding was exactly what I needed, and a few pints of Dennison’s took care of that. However, I ate way too much yesterday (big breakfast, team lunch, big dinner, beer) and I still feel gross. Clearly I can neither eat nor drink like I used to.

I got home just in time to see the end of the Montreal-Buffalo game. Montreal was down 3-1 with less than three minutes remaining in the game, but scored twice late to tie it and then won it in OT. It’s a pleasant, if strange, feeling to see my team playing so well.

.:.

The plan for today: summon enough energy to go run some errands and buy some food, and then welcome CBGB over for Earth Hour this evening. We’re still not sure what we’ll do, short of turning off all electrical draw. I don’t expect a major difference in the appearance of downtown Toronto, but there are some promising signs.

.:.

A shooting occurred last night on board a TTC subway car, near where I used to live. Crazy.

[tags]auld spot, montreal canadiens, buffalo sabres, earth hour, toronto, ttc shooting[/tags]

Buried under a fucking snowbank, that's where

Spring has sprung
grass has ris
I wonder where
the birdies is?

Dear rotation + trajectory of earth: we would like spring now please. Kthxbye.

.:.

The second-quickest way to invite my scorn? Be a telemarketer and call at dinner time. The quickest way to invite my scorn? Be a telemarketer, call at dinner and try to sell me a subscription to the Toronto Sun. For bonus scorn, argue with me when I say no.

.:.

The new Silver Mt. Zion (etc., etc.) album garnered an A- from the Onion AV Club. I haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet, but I just assume I’ll love it. Maybe I’ll take the same approach that I did with Horses In The Sky: buy it, put it on my Zen, forget about it, and then nearly have a stroke six months later when I hear a song like “Teddy Roosevelt’s Guns” for the first time.

.:.

One of these arrived in the mail last week. I bought this one from Threadless last week. Now I’m tempted to buy this. I need help.

[tags]ogden nash, telemarketers, toronto sun, silver mt zion, threadless, tshirts[/tags]

What, no genocide? Howzabout some prison torture?

I picked up our Hot Docs tickets today. After our abridged outing last year we got a full slate (five films) this time around:

So, to recap: terrorism, bleak antarctic landscapes, serial killing, a plane crash & ensuing cannibalism, and we wrap up with violently dysfunctional children. It’s the feel-good film festival of the year!

.:.

I know a few people who should have a Death Star grill. Like, uh, me.

.:.

As if I needed them, the Cameron’s Brewing Co. blog lists 8 healthy reasons to drink beer. Granted, this is not unlike McDonald’s telling you why it’s healthy to eat a Big Mac, but I choose to ignore this particular equivalence. [via]

.:.

Today my Google News page showed me something odd. It was an eCanadaNow (whatever that is) story about internet stalkers, but it was the picture that caught my eye. Here’s a screen grab:

Ummm…unless I’m mistaken, that’s Ellen Page in Hard Candy (imdb). And yes, in that film, Page does play someone who’s stalked online, but…well, clearly the real-life scenario does not play out like the film. Also, why wouldn’t this site indicate that they’d lifted a scene from a fictional film to use in their news story? Weird.

[tags]hot docs, death star grill, cameron’s brewing, beer, google news, internet stalking, ellen page, hard candy, ecanadanow[/tags]

I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song

Spring has a downside, one that sometimes makes me want to vom. Smokers, on the whole, are disgusting assholes.

.:.

Dinner last night at Tutti Matti was pretty good. I had a caprese salad* and the grilled swordfish and a dessert called the Gino, a semifreddo covered in chocolate sauce. Damn.

Nice atmosphere, good service, and we all enjoyed our meals. Fieramosca is the undoubted comfort zone for us in terms of Italian food, but Tutti Matti may now be a good alternative, a more “downtown” option if needed.

* It’s hard to believe, sometimes, how much my tastes have changed over the past few years. Not long ago the idea of eating a giant pile of buffalo mozzarella and tomato covered in olive oil would have turned my stomach.

.:.

Last night Montreal beat Boston for the eighth straight time this season, and eleventh straight overall going back into last season. They won in the shootout, which was the best possible scenario: Montreal stays where they are (tops in the east!) and Boston earns a point to stay ahead of the chasing teams like Toronto. There’re two reasons why this is good for the Habs; if Boston holds on to the 8th (or even 7th) spot, there’s a good chance Montreal will play them in the first round and…well, eight in a row. The Canadiens have owned the Bruins this year.

The other reason why a Boston point last night was beneficial: it makes it harder for the Leafs fans to hold on to their mass delusion of making the playoffs. With eight games left they’re four points out of the final playoff spot, and they’d have to leapfrog four teams to get there, but the delusion lives on. Rather than shutting down their veterans, letting their young players get some much-needed development and securing a spot in the lottery, they’re playing themselves into a lower draft pick.

But hey, if they want to keep it up, that’s cool. I kind of hope they win both games against the Bruins (the team they’re chasing) this week and get their hopes up even higher, so that when Montreal plays them next Saturday, I can watch live as the Canadiens crush their playoff dreams once and for all.

Wait a second…goddammit, I won’t be able to watch that live after all. Stupid climate change…must you ruin everything?

.:.

My buddy Joe sent me the new Constantines album yesterday. I’m only a few songs in but I already love it.  “Million Star Hotel” in particular is brilliant. The last two ‘tines albums were amazing and under-appreciated; if you like the rock and roll, do yourself a favour and check them out.

[tags]smokers, tutti matti, fieramosca, montreal canadiens, boston bruins, toronto maple leafs, nhl playoffs, earth hour, constantines[/tags]

Bratterscained

Sorry I haven’t been writing much. Normally my brain is spinning with so much delicious wit, razor-sharp criticism and profound innovation that I find I need to spill some of it onto the blog, but lately I find I have only two modes: “work” and “recover from work.” I’m glad it’s a long weekend; I may yet be able to reclaim one of the other settings on that dial.

.:.

And how will I do that? By watching hour upon hour of college basketball, interrupted only by sleep and rich food. Yes, it’s March Madness time and while I haven’t been able to give it the attention I’d like, I’m still doing pretty well in my pool, so there’s that. In between games: dinner with M2 at beerbistro on Thursday (which I think made me sick in some weird way) and dinner tonight at Tutti Matti with CBGB.

.:.

Also in between games we’ve been trying to clear off the PVR. We have it down to about 50% now, having watched two movies and an episode of Extras. We waited a long time to watch the second season — not on purpose, we just never got around to it — and so far the episodes have been fairly funny, but this episode with Daniel Radcliffe killed me. Not because of Radcliffe (though it was pretty funny to watch Harry Potter throw a rubber at James Bond’s wife’s head) but because of a scene between Stephen Merchant and Warwick Davis. That might’ve been the funniest 60 seconds I’ve seen on TV in months.

Anyway, the two movies we watched were Bobby (imdb | rotten tomatoes), a terribly dull movie about a terribly interesting man, and Beowulf & Grendel (imdb | rotten tomatoes), not the recent rotoscoped film with Ray Winstone and Angelina Jolie, but the one with Gerard Butler and Sarah Polley. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that good either. As much as I love Sarah Polley, she seemed out of place here.

[tags]march madness, beerbistro, tutti matti, extras, ricky gervais, daniel radcliffe, harry potter, stephen merchant, warwick davis, bobby, beowulf, grendel, sarah polley[/tags]