Month: March 2009

Loosest slots in…well, anywhere.

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If you live in Ontario you might have heard about the guy who hit the jackpot on a slot machine for $42,900,000. Trouble is, the machine was supposed to max out around $9,000. Via the Toronto Star:

Paul Kusznirewicz, perhaps the world’s most unlucky lottery “winner,” thought he had struck it big at the Georgian Downs casino in Innisfil this past December, when the 2-cent slot machine he had been playing for 20 minutes exploded in lights and music. A message: “Call attendant. You have won a jackpot of $42.9 million” popped up on the screen, the 55-year-old says.

But when casino personnel arrived to investigate, they told the Wasaga Beach resident that the slot machine had messed up and he wasn’t entitled to any winnings. All Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corp. machines display a notice that malfunctions void all pays and plays. “This machine clearly malfunctioned. The most it can possibly pay out is $9,025,” said OLG spokesperson Allison Sparkes.

While the OLG is technically right, they’ve also technically been pretty douchebaggy about this. They didn’t give the guy the $9,000 he should have gotten — presumably the amount calculation malfunctioned, not the fact that he won — but rather offered to comp him dinner for four. How magnanimous. The man, quite understandably, is suing the bejeezus out of OLG; it almost certainly would have been less costly for them to simply do the right thing in this case.

But when reading this my cynical side kicked in. Maybe this was a ploy by the casino, a devious(er?) form of marketing. For the cost of some legal fees and the $9,000 they’ll surely end up paying this guy to go away, they’ve guaranteed themselves a ton of press. Now, you might say that this is bad press. I would counter that, aside from there being no such thing, those with a tenuous understanding of math and odds — in other words, a casino’s primary audience — might actually see this as a chance to visit a casino whose slots are screwy and prone to giving out exorbitant sums. I know, it seems a stretch, but I suspect that even now some poor rube  is planning a trip to Georgian Downs with their fingers crossed that they too will trick the computerized moneymaking system.

Let's get ready to rumble!

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Welcome to this bout for the superheavyweight ridiculousness championship of the world.

In this corner we have the Canadian minister of state for science & technology, Gary Goodyear (who obviously missed his true calling: cartoon race car driver), who refuses to say whether he believes in evolution:

Jim Turk, executive director of the Canadian Association of University Teachers, said he was flabbergasted that the minister would invoke his religion when asked about evolution.

“The traditions of science and the reliance on testable and provable knowledge has served us well for several hundred years and have been the basis for most of our advancement. It is inconceivable that a government would have a minister of science that rejects the basis of scientific discovery and traditions,” he said.

Mr. Goodyear’s evasive answers on evolution are unlikely to reassure the scientists who are skeptical about him, and they bolster the notion that there is a divide between the minister and the research community.

And in this corner, with a reach much greater than Mr. Goodyear’s, is Pope Benedict, who yesterday said that condoms won’t stop the spread of AIDS in Africa.

“You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the Pope told reporters aboard his plane to Yaounde, Cameroon. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

While health workers — including some priests and nuns working with people with AIDS — advocate the use of condoms to curb the spread of disease during sex, the Catholic church promotes fidelity within marriage, chastity and abstinence.

More than 22 million people in sub-Saharan Africa have HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, according to estimates from the United Nations. Since the 1980s, roughly 25 million people have died from AIDS.

Come out, touch gloves. Let’s have a clean fight. Against reality.

"Is he giving squinting lessons?"

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Activists in Calgary plan to protest the arrival in their city of George Bush. Oh, kids. Bad move. Don’t give him attention in any form. The opposite of love isn’t hate, you ninnies, it’s indifference.

George W. Bush can expect a cordial welcome tomorrow inside a Calgary convention hall as the wildly unpopular former U.S. president gives his first public address since leaving office, but outside, a gauntlet of protesters don’t plan to be the least bit polite.

Local activists have been ramping up their anti-Bush efforts in advance of the $4,000 per table invite-only event titled a “Conservation [sic] with George W. Bush.” The media is banned from hearing Mr. Bush talk about “eight momentous years in the Oval Office” and “the challenges facing the world in the 21st century.”

Politics aside, this strikes me as odd. A former president he may be, and an interesting public figure to be sure, but how can anyone possibly consider it a worthwhile use of $4,000 to listen to George Bush talk? You’re better off paying for Lindsay Lohan to speak: she’s about as insightful, her entourage takes up a few less hotel rooms and she brings her own DJ.

Bonne journée

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Well, that was a good day. After the kind of work week(s) we’ve had it was nice to take a day to enjoy the sunshine, eat some good food, drink some good wine, get some stuff done and generally just coast through a day.

We were up relatively early, picked up some staples at St. Lawrence Market, grabbed (at Natalie MacLean’s recommendation) a 2007 Tricyclo Cab blend from Chile, warmed our insides at Hank’s, did some errands, had lunch at The Corner Place, got groceries, got my hair cut, threw out some junk, and then relaxed a bit before the evening got underway.

As if that weren’t enough, today was beautiful…sunny, almost warm and the first bright blue sky of the year. Doesn’t feel like spring yet, but it’s close. Desperately, lip-smackingly close. Tomorrow: 9° and sunny. Bring it.

Crazy shakes

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I had a lot to do. I was supposed to work out. 30 Rock was on. The apartment’s messy. I have stuff to read. The cats are (presumably) feeling neglected. I had all this to take care of and much more, and yet…

We had dinner at beerbistro. And a drink. Or two. And “two” might have been Delirium Tremens. Which might have been tasty.

Dear TTC

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Hey there Toronto Transit Commission. Meet me at camera two.

I love that you now have email alerts for service disruptions. I know now when a subway stops running so that I can avoid the station, stay at work, call a cab, etc. Been getting them for a couple of months now. Very helpful.

However, it would be just a tidge more helpful if you would also email when the disruption ends, so I know when I can start using your service again. For all I know these outages are lasting hours, or even days. Might want to keep us in the loop. Just a thought. Cheers.

"[A] false choice between sound science and moral values."

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Reading these words from a sitting American president is almost enough to restore my faith in…well, in American presidents.

“Promoting science isn’t just about providing resources, it is also about protecting free and open inquiry,” Mr. Obama said. “It is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it’s inconvenient especially when it’s inconvenient. It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology.”

Contrast that with George W. Bush’s words in 2001:

In recent weeks, we learned that scientists have created human embryos in test tubes solely to experiment on them. This is deeply troubling and a warning sign that should prompt all of us to think through these issues very carefully.

Embryonic stem cell research is at the leading edge of a series of moral hazards. The initial stem cell researcher was at first reluctant to begin his research, fearing it might be used for human cloning. Scientists have already cloned a sheep. Researchers are telling us the next step could be to clone human beings to create individual designer stem cells, essentially to grow another you, to be available in case you need another heart or lung or liver.

I strongly oppose human cloning, as do most Americans. We recoil at the idea of growing human beings for spare body parts or creating life for our convenience.

I’m not sure I could find a better example of progressive vs. conservative.

Evaluations

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The new Neko Case album is excellent. The new Alela Diane album is fantastic. The new Dan Auerbach album is pretty good, but the song “Heartbroken, In Disrepair” is kickass. Listen.

Watchmen (imdb | rotten tomatoes) was ok but not great. I didn’t read the comic so I can’t judge how well they translated the story, but I do know they forgot one cardinal rule: make it fit the medium. 2h43m was just too long…it’s hard to sustain interest and excitement over nearly three hours with a story that dense and jumpy.

Innis & Gunn oak-aged beer is very tasty indeed.

"This band's biggest problem is that they're not so much authentic as they're trying to indicate to you that they are authentic."

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This morning I finished reading Rock On: An Office Power Ballad (amazon) by Dan Kennedy. It’s Kennedy’s memoir of working in the music business, and the tragic hilarity (and crushing disillusionment) that followed. It’s a quick, entertaining read that will reinforce everything you probably already know about the “music” business, and corporate culture.

I’m recommending here that my brother Tim read it, because he will find it amusing, but also because Kennedy’s description of watching Iggy Pop live will probably resonate with someone who sees as many gigs as he does.

One final note: I’m very glad that in the book Kennedy makes fun of The Darkness. Atlantic was representing them at the time so there was much discussion over whether or not they were serious (they were) and how that could possibly be. As someone who hated that band just as much as I hated Nickelback or Creed, I enjoyed reading that chapter a great deal.

Next up: Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut.