The Rhine

Back in April brother #1 and I surprised my mom with a trip for her birthday. She’d always wanted to do a river cruise in Europe, so we booked a Viking cruise for the three of us through the Netherlands and up the Rhine river, from Amsterdam to Basel. We left near the beginning of July and got back Sunday.

Thu Jul 3: Toronto

My flight left Toronto late. Their flight left Halifax later. Happily, we were to arrive in Amsterdam at roughly the same time. I managed to get a few hours’ sleep on the flight, after I watched Conclave.

Fri Jul 4: Amsterdam

The descent into Amsterdam is very beautiful, weather-permitting, and I had a perfect view on the way in. Their flight landed just after mine did, but they disembarked before I did. Then I got to customs before they did, but they cleared before I did. Schiphol, amirite?

They collected their own bags, and mine, and we did the long walk to the Uber pickup spot. Some ugly traffic later we arrived at the Hotel Fita. It was new to all of us, but it’s in the same neighbourhood I’ve stayed in during my last three visits to Amsterdam. Before anyone fell asleep we grabbed some lunch around the corner at The Uptown Meat Club, which was…weird. But fine. Then: back to the hotel. They napped; I got a coffee at District.

We met up at 5 and decided to do a canal cruise before we left Amsterdam, since Mom had never been there. We walked up to a Stromma booth; they sent us to a cruise downtown that had a small boat with an open top, so we took the tram to Centraal Station and walked. We were glad we did: the small, open boat was great, and our tour captain was also an opera singer! He sang us a few bars of O Sole Mio under a bridge – an unexpected treat.

Rather than eat around Damrak (god, it’s so touristy and awful there) we took the tram back to our neighbourhood and ate dinner at a little place called Pompa. It was tasty and chill, exactly what we wanted. We wandered back to our room and crashed.

Sat Jul 5: Amsterdam

We had a delicious breakfast at the hotel (the little crêpes they made were fantastic) before walking up the street to the Rijksmuseum. Neither my brother nor I had been there in years; Mom had never been, obviously. We started in the hall of honors on the third floor and spent a ton of time there. We eventually made our way around some parts of the other floors, but ultimately had to get back to the hotel to check out and get to the main event: the cruise.

We took an Uber to the dock, and ended up driving through the Jordaan neighbourhood. It was nice to be able to show mom that part of town, though she could hardly watch as we weaved through pedestrians and cyclists at close range. We eventually spied a Viking tent on the waterfront, checked in our bags, and boarded the boat. We had lunch while we waited for our rooms, then got checked in. We explored more of the boat, then walked around downtown a bit more, before getting back aboard for a trip briefing, followed by dinner. We were glad to not be on the schedule canal tour, as it was pouring rain.

Dinner was pretty good. I had bitterballen (they try to add regional dishes each night), brisket, and cheesecake. I also sprung for the nicer wine pairings during the whole trip, and again they focused on regional offerings: Riesling, Weissburgunder, etc. Forced socializing: we sat with a nice British couple, Ian and Diane, who had once lived in Atlanta and always wanted to visit Canada. After dinner, there was a live band playing music from the 50s, 60s, and 70s, which, given the average passenger age, went over well enough that I dubbed the hour “Senior Wilding.”

Sun Jul 6: Kinderdijk

We set sail at 11:30 the night before, so it took a little getting used to the noise and motion, but it was fun watching the Netherlands go by out the window. The troubled sleep made getting up a little tough, but I dragged myself to breakfast – again, really good.

Our daily shore excursion was early: we drove from the town of Dordrecht to the town of Kinderdijk, a UNESCO heritage site and home to 19 windmills. It was pouring rain most of the time, but we got to see how the windmills were once used to pump water out of the fields and into the Lek river, some 7 feet higher than the fields. We even got to go inside a windmill. It was fun and educational, but the ride home was pretty soggy.

Then: lunch (red pepper soup, a cubano sandwich, and chocolate mousse), a briefing about the ship & navigation by the captain, and some afternoon downtime while we pushed east on the Waal – one of the rivers the Rhine turns into once it heads west out of Germany.

We had a few hours to ourselves before the daily briefing (with a Champagne toast) and then dinner was served. All three of us had the chef’s recommendation: cream of pumpkin soup, pork tenderloin, and chocolate moelleux. My wine pairings were much better: a full-bodied Nahe white for the soup and a Beaujolais for the pork & dessert. Forced socializing: we sat with a couple from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Then the program director gave a talk about Dutch culture (ironically, just as we left the Netherlands and entered Germany), including a segment that might as well have been called “socialism” which seemed designed to make the American guests squirm. We loved it.

Mon Jul 7: Cologne

I woke up in time to see us passing through Dusseldorf; by the time I was showered and ready for breakfast we were approaching Köln, or Cologne. Forced socializing: I sat next to a couple from Montana, but who had lived in Edmonton when he played for the (then) Edmonton Eskimos. Also a lady from New York.

The low water level in the Rhine meant we docked downriver from Cologne, and took buses downtown. We met our walking guides under Hohenzollern Bridge, sheltered from a brutal downpour for about ten minutes, then crossed the bridge to the west side of Cologne.

We went first to the huge, historic, and stunning Cologne Cathedral. We didn’t have much time to look around inside, but it didn’t take long to be enchanted. The tour continued after, with our guide pointing out the old roman colony gate and a couple of local stores. By the end of his tour we noticed our boat wasn’t yet there, so most of us ended up eating at a local brauhaus called Peter’s. I drank a couple of Kolsch and ate some bratwurst mit hausgemachtem hartoffelsalat (homemade potato salad) while the brother had something called the “slaughter plate”. Mom was sensible and had a salad, though that too was huge.

We walked to a cute little store called BonBon, bought a few things, and walked back to the boat for some relaxation time. It was warm & dry enough now to be on the top deck for a bit before dinner. At dinner Diane, our new Brit friend, pointed out the full wine list we had access to, which was a game-changer. Food-wise I had spicy Asian grilled shrimp, German Tafelspitz, and carrot cake. Following that, we assembled for some classical music by a local duo (which was lovely), then retreated to the top deck. I was still up there when a bunch of drunk Americans came home and, after sharing how much they drank on their excursion, started chanting “U-S-A ! U-S-A !” so it was time for me to leave.

At the end of the week, when they gave us a survey asking what could make the cruise better, I wrote in “Fewer Americans.”

Tue Jul 8: Koblenz & Rudesheim

Probably the best day of the cruise. We got up a bit earlier and took a bus into Koblenz, where the Mosel joins the Rhine. The Mosel is, of course, of the other great wine rivers of Germany.

The Mosel River

Koblenz is also an old Roman colony and Prussian stronghold. When it was bombed in the final weeks of WWII, it was largely rebuilt in its previous form (unlike Cologne, which apart from the Cathedral is a Brutalist hellscape). Our guide was great and showed us around the old town, with all its quirky charm (e.g., a cuckoo clock that sticks its tongue out; a fountain/statue that spits at you every two minutes).

We had a cappuccino in one of the squares, then did some shopping. I bought a bottle of local Riesling from a great little wine shop. Mom and I split a cookie and we walked back to the Jesuitenplatz to meet our guide to be returned to the boat.

On the drive back to the boat the rain started again, but as we ate lunch inside (spicy Thai coconut soup, veal schnitzel, and mango sorbet for me) it cleared up. Perfect timing, as we were sailing through the middle Rhine, famous for its 20+ medieval castles. Everyone was on the top deck, soaking up the sun, admiring the dramatic scenery. They brought around boozy hot chocolate, followed by boozy coffee. We learned the Lorelei legend, and saw the statue. It was a stunning afternoon, what we’d all been waiting for.

We arrived in Rudesheim just before dinner. The brother and I speed-walked to a gondola in town, took it up (and right back down again) over the rolling vineyards, then hustled back to the boat for dinner.

Forced socialization: a couple from Wisconsin who were pleasant enough, even if the conversation included concealed-carry gun permits. I ate salad, lamb, and key lime pie. Between the early start, the sun, the hustling, and the now-robust wine list, I had nothing left in the tank, and rolled into bed.

Wed Jul 9: Rudesheim & Speyer

We left Rudesheim overnight, so I slept in a bit, climbed out of bed, and joined my family for breakfast. Forced socialization: a couple from Cambridge. Spent more of the morning topside, but we were back to industrial areas, so not as much to see.

I’ll admit that at this point it became harder to keep notes and remember what I ate for each meal, so…yeah. Not sure what it was. Forced socialization: a couple of very nice ladies from Michigan and California. Side note: for the entire cruise people kept asking if the brother and I were twins. I was, and remain, insulted by this.

We arrived in Speyer, walked into town and got a guided tour around the old town. Fun fact: this place is so bretzel-crazy that their walk lights are in the shape of a dude carrying a bretzel.

We saw the town’s enormous cathedral from the outside, but didn’t go in. We did see a very nice (and much newer) protestant church, though, after a walk through some cute neighbourhoods. Another fun fact: the Diet of Speyer is how the term “protestant” originated. The brother went to see the Technik Museum; Mom and did a bit of shopping, stopped for a coffee, and had some ice cream.

We walked back to the boat for dinner (beef, maybe?) and then the whole boat took part in a very enthusiastic music trivia night. Our team (the three of us, Ian & Diane, and a random couple who walked in at the last minute) finished second, and I still think we should have filed an official protest.

Thu Jul 10: Strasbourg

Another early morning, more forced socialization at breakfast (this time: some folks from Delaware, one of whom used to play piano at a restaurant in Halifax that my mom knew!), and another bus ride – this one into one of the better-known cities on the tour, Strasbourg. Our quirky guide led us into the old town, through old fortifications and across lovely canals, on a perfect cool morning.

We saw Place Gutenberg and walked over to the huge Cathedrale Notre-Dame to admire the architecture, stained glass, and astronomical clock. Mom, meanwhile, spared her now-sore lower body (wonky knee, wonky ankle, blisters) by doing the canal tour.

The guide then left us, so the brother and I sat for a coffee and a (very excellent) pastry at Cafe Dreher. The brother then looked up interesting things to do in a limited time in Strasbourg, which led us to both the Büchmesser (or belly-measuring column, which was either to determine if you needed to go on a diet, or to pay more tax…it’s unclear) and the Rue des Juifs, an excellent little set of shops.

I left the brother (not before we bumped into our mom, on a land side-quest) and returned to the boat for lunch. He stayed in Strasbourg and hiked to the top of the Cathedral, but I had to get back for my only paid excursion of the trip. At the boat we had a quiet lunch (I remember a pulled pork sandwich and warm pudding for dessert) and I got ready for my outing: a wine tasting.

I am very much an Alsatian wine fan, so this excursion to Domaine Albert Seltz was a must for me. Sadly, I found it a little disappointing. The drive was long – 1:15 each way – even if the last part was very pretty as we wound around the foothills of the Vosges. But the tasting experience was a bit lacking (a dark, working basement that looks nothing like the website…also, it was a gorgeous day out, so standing around a barrel or under a tree would have been good) and some of the wines were atypical to the point of being unrecognizable. They did make a Grand Cru Sylvaner, though, and that’s something I’m unlikely to ever see again, so I bought a bottle. I did get to meet the winery cat too, which helped.

Alsatian vineyards, with the mountains of the Black Forest in the background

The Grand Cru “Zotzenberg” vineyard, with the Vosges mountains in the background

Anyway, the weather back on the boat was perfect. We had a drink on the top deck before heading downstairs for a German feast so voluminous I thought I’d pop. I understood the rest of the boat made that evening the big party night, but I’d partied a bit too hard the night before, so I could do little other than stumble down to my bed.

Fri Jul 11: Breisach

We were docked immediately alongside another boat, so no throwing the curtains open for us. But neither was there any morning activity, so we just rolled out of bed and ate breakfast. One more beautiful day, so once more to the top deck we went. After a while the brother and I walked into Breisach, not five minutes away, and sat for a cappuccino in the square.

We climbed the hill to see the cathedral up close. We weren’t able to ascend the tower as we’d hoped, but it was still a great view of the town and the Black Forest in the distance.

Back on the boat we had lunch (salad; fish + chips; black forest ice cream) and took off on an excursion to the Black Forest. Mom stayed behind and rested her injuries. We drove through Freiburg, which seems like a pretty cool city, and on to Breitnau. There we disembarked for our choice of activities; the brother and I chose a short hike into the woods, to a waterfall and back. It was a lovely little nature break, the kind that’s likely increasingly difficult to find in densely-populated Europe.

The drive back was much more scenic, winding across hilltops full of pastures and cows and traditional Black Forest houses, until we arrived back at the boat. We were the last bus to return as we were the last bus to leave, and we spotted two stragglers as we pulled out, then had to wait 15 minutes for them to get their act together and get on board.

Dinner back on the boat was tom kha gai soup, veal, and black forest cake. No forced socialization anymore: by this time we were mostly sitting with Ian and Diane, or with Anna and her mom Olivia from California, or some combination thereof.

Sat Jul 12: Basel & Amsterdam

Our earliest morning yet: we had to have our suitcases outside our door by 7, and ourselves out of the room by 8. We collected ourselves for one last breakfast, a final upper deck hang, and goodbye hugs.

The brother and I walked into town a bit and had coffee at bhoch3 where we were once again misidentified as twins. We also charmed a little boy sitting next to us, to the point where he tried to follow us when we left.

We saw a cool mechanical fountain made by Jean Tinguely, walked by the very red city hall, and back to the boat. We collected ourselves and our bags and were taxied to the Basel airport. We were there much too early, so I used some lounge passes to give us somewhere comfy to sit and get a bit to eat. Our flight to Amsterdam was short, and easy. After a long walk through the airport we found the Sheraton attached to the terminal and checked in.

Mom got room service; the brother and I walked down the hall to the Hilton, as their restaurant Bowery sounded more interesting. We had some excellent duck spring rolls, and my lamb curry was as delicious as his burger was huge. He went into town for a bit of an evening walk around, but I was just too gassed, and stayed in my room.

Sun Jul 13: Amsterdam & Toronto

Here, at long last, comes the end of our fellowship. After availing ourselves of the breakfast buffet in the hotel, I left first — my flight was two hours earlier. I sat in the (very sweaty – I really must remember this next time) lounge until my flight was called, and grudgingly let myself be transported back to reality. The flight was smooth and went quickly — watching three movies (A Complete Unknown, She Said, and Nobody) helped. Before I knew it we’d landed, and shortly after that the brother messaged to say he and our mom had landed safely in Halifax.

Looking back on it, the brother and I both enjoyed it more than we thought we might have. Plus, we both managed to stay completely detached from work, so it was a true break. But what matters most in the end is that our mom loved it. Success!

Happy birthday, mom.

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