Author: Dan Dickinson

"Uncle Joe's Bed for Little People"

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Zip finally saw fit to mail us The Aristocrats (imdb | rotten tomatoes), so of course we watched it right away. I’ve wanted to see it since it came out, and I’ve been interested in the story ever since I read the article about Gilbert Gottfried telling the joke at the Friars’ Club five years ago. In addition to the entertaining (if you don’t mind inestimably foul humour) story, you get the laughs one would expect from so many great comedians being on the screen at the same time. Among the best: the now-famous filth of Bob Saget, Sarah Silverman’s personal twist and Kevin Pollak’s imitation of Christopher Walken telling the joke.

We also watched The Interpreter (imdb | rotten tomatoes), which wasn’t bad. A few goofy parts, a few weak points in the plot, but overall it was a decent enough flick. It’s hard for Sean Penn and Catherine Keener to be bad in anything, really.

[tags]the aristocrats, the interpreter[/tags]

Solid and sound

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Ummm…I didn’t hear this. Or anything about it on the news. But it would explain why there were police cars all over the neighbourhood this morning.

Police are looking for a number of suspects, after a Toronto bouncer was shot at. A fight broke out, outside the Brass Rail on Yonge, between the bouncer and some patrons, around 2:15. One of the patrons pulled a gun and fired. Luckily it just grazed the bouncer’s chest and he’ll be ok.

The Rail is, of course, right around the corner from us, so it’s weird that there was gunfire right there. But then, I don’t plan to ever be in a fight outside the brass rail at 2:15 AM, let alone be a bouncer trying to break it up, so I’m not too worried.

.:.

From the BBC: US Vice-President Dick Cheney has condemned as ‘offensive’ US media disclosures of a secret programme that probes global financial transactions.

“What I find most disturbing is the fact that some in the media take it upon themselves to disclose vital national security programmes, thereby making it more difficult for us to prevent future attacks against the American people.”

Sounds scary, no? Until you read something like this, courtesy of Hermann Goering:

“Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”

Sounds scarier now, doesn’t it?

Spicy!

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Whoooeeeeee. I just got some Greg’s ginger ice cream from All The Best…I’ve never had spicy ice cream before. Tastiness, thy name is juxtaposition.

.:.

The Dyke March is getting set to start just down the street from us. The cats apparently do not enjoy music as much as the lesbians. Anyway, we’re getting set to go watch for a bit before the next footie match starts. Gonna have to listen to the music anyway, might as well go see the sights.

[UPDATE] The Dyke March only lasts about 20 minutes, and it’s much less crowded than the Pride Parade (which was good for Nellie, since she’s not often able to see over crowds of any size).

[tags]greg’s ice cream, dyke march, pride toronto[/tags]

Chocolate, gun nuts and caribou

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Salon is right: chocolate is becoming almost as snobby as wine.

.:.

The UN proposes “a broad set of recommendations to reduce trafficking, proliferation and misuse of guns.” The NRA responds by calling them “dictatorships, terrorist states and so-called ‘free’ nations” who wish to “strip all citizens of all nations of their right to self-protection.”

.:.

It’s not every day that you have caribou for lunch. But today I did.

[tags]chocolate, un, nra, caribou[/tags]

One of God's special slaves

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Quiz time: who said it, Ann Coulter or Hitler? [via Yes But No But Yes]

.:.

I couldn’t agree with Chuck Swirsky more: “The thought of seeing Alonzo Mourning receiving an NBA title ring irritates me.” In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll summarize: Raptors trade Vince Carter for two bags of water (aka Eric Williams and Aaron Williams) and Alonzo Mourning. Mourning hadn’t played in a while and told the Raptors that his injury would prevent him from ever playing again. The Raptors buy out the remaining millions of his contract. Mourning promptly experiences a miraculous recovery and signs with Miami. Raptors are left with no superstar, no centre, two men with benches stapled to their asses and a lot less money. Suffice it to say, this was the beginning of the end for Rob Babcock, but Alonzo Mourning will forever go down in Raptors lore as a whiny little whore. Cheers, ‘Zo; you’ve always been, and always will be, Shaq’s bitch.

.:.

There’s an article in this month’s Esquire about John Walker Lindh, the American captured in Afghanistan fiighting with the Taliban. It’s pretty eye-opening. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be persecuted by practically every man, woman and child in your country and not be allowed to defend yourself, to explain what happened, to tell your side of the story. I thought Tom Junod did a pretty good job of telling us his story for him.

.:.

The Much Music Video Awards are being re-broadcast right now, probably for the umpteenth time. I saw it on the guide and had to tune in so that I could put some context around Aaron Wherry’s hilarious play-by-play (found at Zoilus). However, now all I can hear from the other room is stupid kids screaming their heads off at…I dunno, Yellowcard or something. And who the hell-ass-balls is Hedley? Ugh. Gotta go turn it off.

[tags]ann coulter, hitler, chuck swirsky, alonzo mourning, john walker lindh, tom junod, mmva, popwherry, zoilus[/tags]

In God We Trust

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I’ve had this link sitting on my desktop so long I’d forgotten about it. If you have 17 minutes, I recommend watching this short film; it’s a good laugh. It was done a few years ago by Jason Reitman, who more recently did the excellent Thank You For Smoking.

Those of you who watched Band Of Brothers might recognize the main actor as the guy who played Skip Muck.

[tags]atomfilms, in god we trust, jason reitman, band of brothers[/tags]

T-Bone's on fiyah!!

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T-Bone has slain the white whale. She has somehow (I think she has evil South American voodoo running through her veins) gotten us summerlicious reservations at Canoe. And not just Canoe…but Bymark as well. OK, this’ll be our third time at Bymark, but still…she was on fire, no doubt about it. I swear I tried a hundred times yesterday and today. No fire for me.

[tags]summerlicious, canoe, bymark[/tags]

Yup, "porcini" sounds about right

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I just happened to glance at my economics textbooks, which I haven’t looked at since I finished the course in March. The name of one of the authors seemed familiar…I had to think about it…Bernanke, Bernanke…Oh.

Yes, that Bernanke.

Huh. Who knew the guy who co-wrote our economics textbook would go on to be chairman of the Fed?

.:.

Posting’s been light (and rather airy) lately ’cause I gots International Business coming out my ears. However, I’ve managed to get ahead of my work plan, even while getting some extra gym time in. Trust me, I need it; yesterday I saw a picture of myself taken on Friday. Not good. Something must be done.

.:.

Summerlicious is nearly upon us. We booked Goldfish for dinner with a couple of friends, but I’d like to get Canoe for our dinner with T-Bone. Indeed, I’d like to get Canoe every year and never do, so fooey to that. Perhaps Bymark; I notice they’ve made the wonderburger part of the ‘licious menu (as opposed to the required upgrade of ‘liciouses past).

.:.

Sigh…the afore mentioned burger is “8 oz. USDA Prime beef with brie de meaux, grilled porcini, truffle aioli and crisp onion rings.” And I wonder how I gain weight?

[tags]ben bernanke, tubbiness, summerlicious[/tags]

What would Jesus key the side of in a parking lot?

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My “The 265 Stupidest Things Ever Said” desk calender is usually pretty lame, but this one from last week is a keeper:

“Those who deface a Hummer in words or deed deface the American flag and what it stands for.”

That was Rick Schmidt, founder of the International Hummer Owners Group. There’s more background at epic-usa, where they’ve quoted a NY Times article.

That their group is called IHOG is just a perfect bit of irony. Outstanding, guys.

[tags]hummer, rick schmidt, ihog[/tags]