Elephant + trampoline= fun.

[via Rocketboom]

So Jan Bulis hears from the coach that he’ll be a healthy scratch for last night’s game against Philadelphia. Then Sheldon Souray gets taken out of the lineup because of an infection, and through some juggling Bulis is back in the lineup at the last minute. Bulis then proceeds to score four goals, including the game winner, breaking Montreal’s road losing streak. Eight goals on the whole year, and four last night…here’s hoping Gainey makes him a game-time decision every night.

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Hello, Frank McKenna. Farewell, John Manley; we hardly knew ye.

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Here we go again. Another video game, another youth driven to death and destruction by it. It never ceases to amaze me how dense people can be sometimes. As Nellie pointed out this morning, the people who think that video games are responsible for this crash — and a number of people interviewed on the street said just that — must be ignorant enough to think that no one ever died in a street race before, say, 1985. Perhaps James Dean was all hopped up on a black & white version of Gran Turismo when he died in a street race?

Tell you what…when the number of deaths that can be directly linked to recreation of video games reaches 1/100th the number who die from drunk driving, then we can talk about banning video games and alcohol. Until then, use some common sense and think before you open your nattering gob.

By the way, as a side-note to this story, check out the differences in the way the same story is told in the Toronto Star and the Ottawa Sun. Granted, the Sun chain can hardly be called real newspapers, but surely somebody must read past the Sunshine Girl and lottery numbers and find their take on current events. Here’s how the detective on the scene was quoted by the Star:

“It’s a horrible irony…Some have said this is life imitating art but I don’t know…a game is a game, but when you get behind the wheel it’s reality…ultra-violent driving simulation, fighting simulation and criminal simulation…But are games the cause? Absolutely not. But, it is rather ironic.”

And then by the Sun:

“Here we have, in real life, two guys driving high-end cars at a high rate of speed in an urban area…I don’t think it’s a giant leap for people to say, ‘Wow, how does this go together?'”

Same detective, same story. Completely different spin.

Wow. Vince Carter is calling out Kobe Bryant for his 81-point game ’cause one-man shows like that don’t honor the team concept. That’s fucking rich. Carter might as well have been talking on his cell phone during his last 60 games with the Raptors. What an asshat.

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Speaking of asshats, can we please find a way to stop all the whining in Alberta about being so hard done by and about how the rest of Canada discriminates against you? Antonia Zerbisias points out some of the fairytales spun by Norman Spector, and on CTV Newsnet this morning I heard Link Byfield whinging about “the east” just not getting “the west”. This confused me, as I’m pretty sure my ballot didn’t list “Alberta” as a candidate.

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On to hotter happier things now: Martina Hingis. I actually have a reason to watch tennis again. Ok, well, maybe just tennis highlights. She lost last night, but getting to a grand-slam quarter-finals after being away for so long? Pretty impressive.

I can only hope that Bruce MacKinnon is right.

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Chris Penn died.

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I’m really, really looking forward to Zacharias Kunuk’s new film. I really liked Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner (imdb | rotten tomatoes). Too bad it’ll only end up showing on a few screens in major cities around Canada while Big Momma’s House and Annapolis fill up screens in every little town.

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Donald Trump is an even bigger prick than I thought. And I thought he was a prick of staggering proportions.

Interesting. Our condo developer is building condos “specifically for gays & lesbians” in downtown Toronto. I find it a bit odd that they’d limit their own market like that, but they obviously think there’s enough demand. Besides, I don’t imagine there’s a homosexuality test at the door so anyone who wants to live at King & Sherbourne could apply. I wonder what other speciality condos we’ll see? There’ve been Italian-themed buildings advertised, though I found it strange they were nowhere near College Street. Maybe a food-themed building on King West?

I managed to stay pretty much injury-free at basketball the past two weeks, but this week I wasn’t so lucky. I sprained my thumb, strained my back a bit and hurt my foot getting tangled up with another guy on the run. I didn’t think it was that bad until I got the ball in the post the next time down the floor, turned to shoot over him and got blocked. I got zero lift on my jump; my foot just kinda refused.

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It’s too bad to see Mario Lemieux retire (again), but it was bound to happen sooner rather than later given all his health problems. I think I fall into the “would have been one of the greatest ever if he’s been able to stay healthy” camp; he had all the talent in the world, but like Bobby Orr he just couldn’t match the longevity of players like Gretzky or Howe. Still…it would’ve been fun to watch him play a full year alongside Sidney Crosby.

This list of the 50 most loathsome people of 2005 kills me, especially the entry on Paris Hilton:

Won’t go away. A head so empty, the rails of coke that sustain her must dissipate in clouds around her ears; this residual high the only explanation anyone would come within five feet of her. Brainless, her spinal cord defies physics, like an Indian rope trick. Her Carl’s Jr. commercial, while an uninspired approximation of eroticism, was still hotter than her actual “sex” tape, in which she only made noise when she wasn’t screwing—that’s not hot. Squints inexplicably for photo ops, suggesting even minimal focus is beyond her. Her continued success as a celebrity famous for nothing, despite the eerie resemblance she bears to the inbred banjoist from Deliverance and a lack of talent so profound that others become duller as they approach her, indicates that something is fundamentally wrong with humanity.

[via]

Guilty pleasure of the day: nth Degree by Morningwood.

I was going to say “Guilty pleasure of the day: Morningwood.” but that would’ve sounded pretty bad.

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The Documentary Channel is far and away the best of the digital channels that we signed up for. So far I’ve recorded The Wild Parrots Of Telegraph Hill and Darwin’s Nightmare; Be Here To Love Me: A Film About Townes Van Zandt and Touch The Sound are coming up soon.

I really need to learn how to measure pasta better. My default now is to measure for two; I tried scaling it back to one portion, but I was hungry. I think that was my problem. The consequence is that I’ll need a nap any minute now.

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Thoughts on the election:

• The result, in my opinion, was about as good an outcome as I could’ve hoped for. I knew the results wouldn’t reflect the extreme results of the polls, but I didn’t expect the Liberals to hold 100+ seats.
• Paul Martin did the right thing, stepping down but staying in the party. He’ll be a better asset to the party that way than as a figurehead.
• I’ve gotten less nervous over the last few days as I’m convinced that the Conservatives won’t be able to do the things that really scare me (e.g., reverse same-sex marriage, get rid of the gun registry, re-open the abortion debate, etc.) because his only political ally — the Bloc — are further to the left than the Liberals. Health care reform is the only thing they might go along on, but that would get every Liberal and NDP back up, and probably enough PC/Bloc that it would be hard to pass. Even if the Bloc whores themselves to Harper to give him what he wants, he’d have to make so many concessions to Quebec that there’d be a political firestorm. At least, this is what I’ve convinced myself of. We’ll see what happens.
• This government lasts 18 months. 24 tops.
• It seems most people have already pencilled in Frank McKenna as the next Liberal leader. Manley’s keeping himself in the public eye, which means he could take another crack at it. Belinda Stronach and Michael Ignatieff are too new to the party, but should be ready next time around.
• I’ve been thinking lately that the reason Chretien held on so long with Martin waiting in the wings, despite pleas to move aside, was that he secretly knew Martin couldn’t hack it. He couldn’t say that aloud, of course, but I think he held on hoping that someone — Manley, Rock, McLellan — would come to the fore and challenge Martin for the leadership. But they didn’t, and Chretien stepped aside, and the Liberals (and the country) were left with Mr. Dithers for two years.

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Season 1 of Veronica Mars is [sniff] all done. Nellie was all but foaming at the mouth yesterday when the final disc arrived.

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Need…caffeine…

My wife just said, “Ugh…they should only let people in cities vote.”

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More insightful commentary tomorrow. Hopefully. I may be on a plane to Norway.

If you haven’t voted yet, go do it. Punk(s).