Category: Dumbassedness

Personally, I think she may have lots of babies in lots of places

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

I had a pretty good day. I got a lot done at work this morning (partly because I did a lot of prep work last night), and then at noon our department had a barbecue and team-building thingy outside. Ate a burger, drank some water, found some shade and then took part in the little team competition. I caught and returned a soccer throw-in, identified some flags, figured out the world jumble (the trick: don’t look at it for a few seconds) and kicked a penalty shot (using a winnie-the-pooh ball) past my VP. Alas, my team came in second, but we won some chocolate medals. Score.

I then had coffee (well…frozen icy chocolate beverages) with my friend Amy. She was the first person I met at this company, back in 1997, and after all the different roles and different departments for both of us (including a two-year stint at another company for me and a year of mat leave for her) we’ve ended up working on the same project. She’s like a big sister to me, but she also happens to be a very trusted colleague, so it’s great that we’ve ended up working just a block apart.

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From Yahoo: Britney Spears may have baby in Namibia.

If you care about this story at all, I fucking hate you.

.:.

I am both excited and guilt-ridden about what I am about to do: turn off the computer and just watch a movie. How sad is that?

[tags]team building, britney spears, namibia, protestant work ethic[/tags]

Preach, Rupert

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The Independent tells it like it is:

“Iraq is going to hell in a hand-basket. The trade and budget deficits are spinning out of control, and petrol prices have gone through the roof. Yet the US Senate has devoted two days to a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage that everyone knew had not the slightest hope of passage.

In the event the body that calls itself – without a blush of embarrassment – the ‘greatest deliberative body on Earth’ yesterday backed by 49-48 a procedural motion to end debate and bring the measure to a formal vote.”

I think it’s more than Iraq that’s going to hell in a hand-basket.

[tags]the independent, gay marriage, us senate[/tags]

77.21%

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Catching up…

Torontoist spots an asshat parking his H2 in a handicapped parking spot. The Star says Bob Cole needs to retire from calling hockey, and I agree. He should take Harry Neale with him. Still with The Star, Ben Rayner asks if Radiohead is overrated. Not a chance, sez I. Finally, two links from Yes But No But Yes: super cuteness and super ugliness.

.:.

Last day of the class (save tomorrow’s exam). I’m a little tired, but it’s par for the course on the Thursdays. We’re in good shape, project-wise; a few things to tie up and put together and we’re home free.

[tags]h2, asshat, bob cole, harry neale, ben rayner, radiohead, kittens+puppies, inhofe, mba[/tags]

"How many tall office towers are there in Toronto?"

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I guess it was only a matter of time before a suspected terrorist plot was broken up in Canada; terrorists generally don’t seem to take issue with particular national boundaries so much as with ideologies or religious differences. There was a sense in Canada that we were too small, bland or nice to be targeted by terrorists, but those folks aren’t exactly known for their logical approach to their trade.

So…a big thank you to the investigators who spent time on this and apprehended the suspects. I’m glad they were on the job if the threats are as serious we’ve heard today. That said, here’s hoping they got the right men; with the new counter-terrorism laws, the authorities can hold pretty much anyone for as long as they like on charges of suspected terrorism. It also goes without saying that I hope they got all their men.
Oh, and once again, the Toronto Sun showed their journalistic prowess by saying on the front page that the TTC was a target, when in fact the police have confirmed that it wasn’t. Bravo.

[tags]canada, terrorism, toronto sun, ttc[/tags]

"I think we can conclude that the Muslim lobby in the U.S. is not as effective as they would like it to be."

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How blindingly stupid would you have to be to think that only 1,000 people died in World War II? Jesus.

Anyway, Scott Adams suggests that it would be interesting to make people take a general knowledge test when voting. Nellie’s of the same opinion, but thinks people below a certain score shouldn’t be given a ballot.

.:.

West 8 was announced as the winner of the waterfront redesign contest, so it looks like Toronto’ll be getting a great big maple leaf in our harbour. Nooooooot sure I like that, but any progress is welcome. [from Spacing]

.:.

The Polaris prize: Canada’s answer to the Mercury Prize.

.:.

Asshat see, asshat do. Sorta.

[tags]wwii, west 8, toronto harbourfront, polaris prize, mercury prize, same-sex marriage[/tags]

Hooray for bullshit

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Two good bits of news from Spacing today: the City of Toronto finally plans to go ahead with the Bloor Street revitalization they’ve been talking about for years (while we’ll have moved downtown by the time it’s completed, I still work up here), and they’re also (finally) going ahead with the Union Station overhaul. Hopefully this means no more being crushed when you take the escalator down to the platform at rush hour. Actually, being 6’2″ / 220 I’m less concerned with being crushed than I am with crushing some tiny Korean lady.

Regarding the Bloor Street sidewalk work, I echo what Torontoist is saying: hopefully the lack of a bike lane is just an oversight. Take Make The Tooker.

.:.

And now, two bits of news from the Toronto Star: the (c)Raptors lucked out and won the #1 pick in the NBA draft lottery last night (though there’s no clear #1 this year), and Alexa Ray Joel lucked out and got her mother’s looks. Actually, on second look, she does kind of look like her father…but I guess there’s enough Christie Brinkley in there to make it work. Thank god. Not a big fan of the music, but at least it doesn’t sound like the usual American Idol excretions.

.:.

I’d love to see the Freakonomics guys take a run at bullshit claims like this:

“Smokers’ rights advocates say 1,000 businesses will go bankrupt and thousands of people will lose their jobs as a result of Ontario’s new anti-smoking legislation, set to take effect in a week. ‘At least 4,000 businesses will be impacted,’ Edgar Mitchell, of the Pub and Bar Coalition of Canada, said at a news conference in Toronto Wednesday. ‘Possibly 2,000 will have severe difficulties and as many as 1,000 will be forced out of business. Yes, some pubs and bars can adapt, but it’s a damned hard road.'” [via CTV]

Setting aside for a second that — on the very day that Heather Crowe died of lung cancer from the second-hand smoke she inhaled working in a bar — this asshat wants us to put the business interests of 1,000 bars (a venture with a high failure rate under any circumstances) ahead of the health of the tens of thousands of citizens who’d pass through them…where the hell did he get that nice, round number? What’s he basing the figures on? What research shows this? Has he found another market that underwent these changes and matches Ontario’s? Has he extrapolated it from the earlier municipal bans and restrictions imposed in Ontario? And if so, I’d love to see his numbers; there’ve been considerable research findings to the contrary.

Paging Steven Levitt…

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I find this little doodad fascinating, addictive and frustrating all at once. Blame boing boing.

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I got a 90% on my marketing assignment. I was convinced that an entire paper of bullshit didn’t merit anything better than a C-, but I guess this mark makes sense. Talking out of one’s ass never get anyone fired from a marketing job.

.:.

I worked through some of my music “inbox” today, checking off the new Concretes (yech…except for “You Can’t Hurry Love”), the new Magneta Lane (killer, as expected) and the new Final Fantasy (only two good songs: “This Lamb Sells Condos”, which is a Toronto in-joke, and “Many Lives -> 49mp”, which he played last year the Arcade Fire concert and freaked us all out, what with the shouting into the violin and all). I started into the new Pilate disc, which seems ok, if a little bland.

[tags]bloor street, union station, tooker, raptors, alexa ray joel, american idol, freakonomics, ontario smoking ban, marketing, concretes, magneta lane, final fantasy, pilate[/tags]

The ICB is not filling me with confidence right now

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As you might be able to tell from past blog postings, I’m in an MBA program that’s done jointly by Dalhousie University and the Institute of Canadian Bankers. I’m almost halfway through the program right now, so I found it odd this morning when I received an email from the ICB telling me that, because I have some credits with them, I could apply for this exciting joint MBA they offer with Dalhousie.

Now, granted, screwups happen like this sometimes. Email marketing’s an inexact science; trust me, I know that from past experience. This, to me, seems like kind of a rookie mistake…like the marketing people just didn’t think to check their mailing list against the list of people who’re actually taking the MBA program they’re trying to pitch. What bothers me is this: the MBA course I’m taking right now is the ICB marketing course.

I find myself questioning their expertise.

.:.

I’m excited that my oldest brother might be flying over to spend some time with us here in Toronto this summer. He’ll be back in Nova Scotia this summer, but between the Montreal and New York trips earlier in the year, the Rockies trip in the fall and the aggressive saving for the condo closing date in April it was just too much of a squeeze for us to make that trip as well. But ifhe shows up here in TO, I’m sure we can get into some trouble.

[tags]mba, dalhousie, icb, marketing, family[/tags]

Drater

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As funny as his Dilbert cartoons are, and as funny as half of his blog posts are, Scott Adams occasionally asks some damn good questions. Today’s topic: why does the US give foreign aid to Israel?

.:.

More baby-name fun from the Freakonomics guys. They point out a new one — “Nevaeh” — that went from eight babies in 1999 to 4,457 babies last year, and trace it to a single pop culture moment:

“The surge of Nevaeh can be traced to a single event: the appearance of a Christian rock star, Sonny Sandoval of P.O.D., on MTV in 2000 with his baby daughter, Nevaeh. ‘Heaven spelled backwards,’ he said.”

Frankly, I’m surprised Levitt and Dubner didn’t talk more about the influence of pop culture on baby names. For example, the name “Dawson” went from 734th most popular to 175th the year Dawson’s Creek debuted, and climbed to 136th the year after. “Dylan” was always resonably popular, but shot up to 28th two years after Beverly Hills 90210 went on the air. “Wyatt” went from 375th to 197th in the year after Tombstone and Wyatt Earp were released. It’s not just boys either; for girls, the name “Trinity” went from 526th the year before The Matrix was released to 74th the year after it came out. “Alyssa” went from 209th in 1983 to 180th, 130th and 86th in the years immediately following the debut of Who’s The Boss. And, perhaps the most telling, the name “Beyonce” made its one and only appearance in the list of the top 1000 baby names: it was #702 in 2001, the year Destiny’s Child released their multi-platinum Survivor album.

[all data US, from Social Security Online]

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I would like one of these t-shirts, but for the life of me I can’t imagine any situation where it would be socially acceptable.

[tags]dilbert, scott adams, freakonomics, nevaeh[/tags]

Jesus Christ. And so on.

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From Ireland Online: Da Vinci Code provokes protests ahead of premiere.

Christian groups as far away as South Korea, Thailand and India protested against the movie The Da Vinci Code ahead of tomorrow’s premiere at the Cannes Film Festival. They were planning boycotts, a hunger strike and attempts to block or shorten screenings.

I suggest the protestors read the following:

fic·tion: A literary work whose content is produced by the imagination and is not necessarily based on fact.

You know. Like the bible.

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Skype drops a big one: it will be free for outbound calls to any phone number in Canada and the US until the end of the year. That smell you smell is the telcos and Vonage shitting themselves.

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From the BBC: Apple rival ‘tries to ban iPods’.

Digital music player maker Creative Technology has asked a US court to ban Apple from selling or marketing its iconic iPods in the US. Creative claims that the navigational menu used for finding and playing music on the iPod, violates its patent for its own Zen MP3 player.

I feel like my underdog home team just threw up a hail mary.

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From TSN: Hurricanes GM – Habs were toughest test.

“No disrespect to Philadelphia, Ottawa and New Jersey, they’re all good teams, but some teams are a little better than others and I think Montreal is one of those teams,” Rutherford said from Raleigh, N.C.

Well…that’s some small consolation, I guess.

Je deteste le marketing

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I finished my first (and last) marketing assignment this week. Here’s what I told a friend about it:

“I believe that, were I to print mine, an Indian somewhere would shed a single tear. Moreover, every employee on Madison Avenue would feel a cold chill down their spine, and the authors of the Cluetrain Manifesto would all get nosebleeds. I, myself, shall know the very meaning (or translation, as it were) of schadenfreude if I get anything above a C-.”

I’m not the only one who said this. Everyone I’ve talked to in the class thought the assignment was ridiculous, and as far as I can tell everyone just shat out 3 pages of gobbledegook and hit the ‘submit’ button.

Hooray for higher education.

[tags]mba, marketing[/tags]