The perfect woman according to Lt. Dan.

Notes

1. When I say curvy, I mean a) I can’t see your ribs, and b) pardon my vulgarity, but nice hoo hahs. The requirement is not “huge”; the requirement is present. And before any women reading this get all indignant, ask yourself if you’d date a guy without any muscles, or chin, or car. That’s right.
2. Being short isn’t a requirement, just an added bonus.
3. Psycho is just a catch-call term I use to describe the common female psychosis of saying one thing and meaning another. For example, the whole saying “I’m not mad” when she is in fact mad, and then getting mad at you for not figuring out that she really was mad in the first place. It’s present in all women, but there’s an acceptable threshold, above which women are considered “psycho”.
4. By “shit”, I mean she enjoys any of the following: The Gap, Shania Twain, American Idol, Fifty Cent, Celine Dion, Wal-Mart, King of Queens, Republicans, White Chicks (the movie, not the demographic).

As part of our lazy weekend plan we watched After The Sunset (imdb | rotten tomatoes) last night. Pah. I liked it better when it was called The Thomas Crown Affair.

I’ll be blunt: had Salma Hayek not been in a bikini (or some other wonderfully revealing outfit) for most of the film, I couldn’t have finished it. Don Cheadle? Barely in it and totally wasted. Ditto Chris Penn. Woody Harrelson I don’t like at the best of times, so his presence wasn’t really a plus. Pierce Brosnan seemed to be phoning it in. Really, the only one I liked (apart from Salma) was Naomie Harris (I didn’t even recognize her as Serena from 28 Days Later). She at least seemed to be putting some effort into it…

Blech. Avoid.

There’s a lot of entertainment to consume this weekend. We’re five episodes into season 2 of Six Feet Under and plan to watch the remaining eight by Monday evening, we’re seeing Revenge Of The Sith tomorrow with CBGB, and Monday night is the 2-hour season finale of 24 (followed by an episode of The Shield). Not to mention the three Zip movies sitting on the speaker.

Geez, what a beautiful day. We were up early so that we could hit St. Lawrence Market before the crowds got too bad, walked past the hole, ran a few other errands and called Dad with belated birthday wishes before settling in to watch an episode or two of Six Feet Under.

A three-day weekend, accounting assignment (practically) done, beautiful weather…I’m in a pretty happy place right about now…

The item which has lived on my Soulseek wishlist the longest is undoubtedly Body Of Song by Bob Mould, and tonight for the first time ever it showed up. The disc, long talked about, is due out in July but I guess this is just the first copy.

It’s a bit of a moot point; I plan to order an advance copy anyway. I had been a tiny bit wary after Modulate, but the word all along has been that this was something of a return to older form for Bob. So I’ll download it, but unless it’s a complete turkey I’m a-buyin’ it in two months anyway.

The L Word.

I await your laughter.

If you’re a TTC rider, welcome to the best site ever.

[via]

S’matter, Stephen Harper? Ass hurt?

Here’s how the system might work: at the store, someone buying a new DVD would have to provide a password or some kind of biometric data, like a fingerprint or iris scan, which would be added to the DVD’s RFID tag.

Then, when the DVD was popped into a specially equipped DVD player, the viewer would be required to re-enter his or her password or fingerprint. The system would require consumers to buy new DVD players with RFID readers.

[via]

I’m embarrassed to live in the same city with these people.

And Ian Pierpoint, senior vice-president at market research company Synovate (though he lives in Vancouver, not Toronto) drops what might be the most loathsome phrase I’ve heard in weeks: “why spend $700 if no one knows you spent $700?”. Mr. Pierpoint, I do believe you have jumped up your own ass.