Category: Humour

Scattered thoughts

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment
  • 93 people killed in a bombing attack in Iraq today. How is it that the news media barely pays attention to Iraq anymore? I can’t see this news anywhere on CNN’s front page right now; they’re too busy talking about other news like the Scooter Libby verdict, the randy astronaut story, Naomi Campbell, and a dog pulled from an icy lake “tail-a-wagging”. Bravo.
  • A new BBC poll says that Canada has the best international image. The news is met (outside of Canada, anyway) with an epic yawn.
  • Apple has unveiled a new product-unveiling product called the iLaunch. OK, not really, but give it time.
  • I hate how reviewers keep using the term “Springsteen-esque” when reviewing Neon Bible. Et tu, A.V. Club?
  • If Canadians think ATM fees are unfair, how would they like to be a Lloyd’s TSB customer? Ssoon their credit card customers will be charged 35 pounds per year if they don’t use their card enough.

[tags]iraq, bombing, bbc poll, canada, international image, ilaunch, neon bible[/tags]

Rock-grid coordinates SH735026

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

After 3+ years of waiting, we finally got to see our condo today. Not a model, not a floorplan…our actual unit. There’s still work going on in the hallways and common areas, but our suite is (99%) finished. We had our inspection today. There were a couple of hiccups, but overall we’re pretty happy with it. The view’s even better than I expected, even if it’s all grey and wintery outside. I can’t wait to see it in the summer.

The only bad part of today was the attitude of the people who did the inspection with us. The first lady tried really hard to rush us through, and dismissed some of the things Nellie raised as potential issues. Granted, they were very small things, and the lady claimed that today was only about major problems, but everything we read told us that we should get everything acknowledged now. Then, when discussing the two major things down in the office, the people talked to us like we were morons and weren’t terribly helpful. That part was kind of frustrating, but it paled alongside the fun of actually setting foot in our own place. 5 weeks from today, we’ll be the official owners.

Nellie took a few pictures from the (rather huge) balcony too. I’ve put them in my flickr profile.

.:.

There are times when you wish Onion headlines were true. This is one of those times.

Calling it the planet’s last, best hope for saving rock music, the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock announced Monday that they would take the extraordinary step of unleashing a never-before-heard Jimmy Page riff, hidden for decades in a mythic, impenetrable vault.

…

The Guardians said recent developments in the music world, such as the unaccountable popularity of the Dixie Chicks and Sufjan Stevens, have created a “perfect storm of lameness” from which rock might never recover. While Iommi refused to say when the vault would be opened, hard rock sources believe it will take place just prior to next month’s Fall Out Boy–Honda Civic tour, which many fear will suck the remaining lifeblood from all that still rocks.

Is Jack Black writing for The Onion these days?

[tags]spire condo, onion, jimmy page[/tags]

I, on the other hand, do NOT want my Nancy Grace

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

A new bookstore — a real bookstore — set to open in downtown Toronto this spring.

Ben McNally Books will sell that and only that – no magazines, no CDs or DVDs, no candles or stationery and no coffee (“There’s already a Tim Hortons down the block”) – and, in most instances, they’ll be sold at full price since “I think you do a disservice to publishers if you [discount],” he said.

I think bookstores like Nicholas Hoare (McNally used to manage the Toronto location) are fantastic for browsing, but unless the store carries titles difficult to find in Indigo or online, I question the business model. Still, it’ll be almost as close to the new condo as Nicholas Hoare, so I look forward to the opening.

.:.

One of the more interesting podcasts I’ve been listening to is the San Francisco Chronicle’s “Correct Me If I’m Wrong” series, where they publish voice mails left by customers. The episode from Feb 28th made me howl…you just have to listen to it.

[tags]ben mcnally books, nicholas hoare, san francisco chronicle, correct me if im wrong[/tags]

Happy Valentimes!!

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

If you watched 30 Rock last week you’d find that title funnier.

.:.

Uh oh…is 300 gonna suck??!?!

.:.

A few nights ago on The Daily Show Jon Stewart made fun of last week’s non-stop “news” coverage (which has let up only slightly this week) of the Anna Nicole Smith story.

“She might’ve been our Lady Di?” Come…the fuck…on. Not that I have any great respect for anything to do with the British royals, but Anna Nicole Smith was famous for a) having giant fake tits, b) marrying a decrepit old man for his money and c) being retarded. Those three things, nothing else.

Come to think of it, that may be the most accurate analogy for American celebrity worship that I’ve ever heard.

[tags]valentimes, 30 rock, 300, daily show, anna nicole smith[/tags]

Argh

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Apparently my last post got sucked into the wrong series of Internet tubes, so here’s the point-form version:

Dang.

[tags]eggstasy, moosewood, rebar, the queen, wordpress[/tags]

10 years of nasal bleating

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Charlie Brooker is my new favourite hero, based solely on this article.

I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don’t use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.

GB, I await your scorn.

[Thanks Duarte]

[tags]charlie brooker, mac ads[/tags]

I hate your kids and your white chocolate mousse

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Would it be wrong for me to buy this t-shirt? ‘Cause I really, really want one.

.:.

So, 1055 last night: my meal was ok, but not great. A simple salad to start, then butternut squash ravioli cooked in brown butter sauce, then an apple tart with caramel sauce. Nellie’s meal was ok too — she had the goat cheese, salmon and “chocolate” mousse — but it was T-Bone who had trouble. She couldn’t have any wine last night, she didn’t think her duck breast was a duck breast at all, and the “chocolate” mousse on the menu turned out to be white chocolate. I find that bizarre; how does “Belgian Chocolate mousse with Merlot poached pears and vanilla sauce” translate to white chocolate, which really isn’t even chocolate at all? Shouldn’t you at least warn people? Anyway, T-Bone doesn’t like white chocolate so I ate most of it and gave her some of my apple tart.

I also had trouble getting a glass of wine, and the service was just on the verge of being inattentive. All in all, I got the sense that 1055 is a place that tries hard but just doesn’t have the talent level to back it up.

[tags]i hate your kids, 1055, winterlicious[/tags]

56.41%

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

I’m all stats-d out and it’s only Wednesday morning. I spent about 3 hours doing sample problems last night, and today should be pretty much the same thing, so…whee!

.:.

What the hell are Cobra Boxes?!?

.:.

This story bugs me:

A Toronto councillor has earned a powerful ally in his fight for a ban on panhandling in the city’s tourist areas.

Because where tourists come from they don’t have panhandlers? Because a tourist’s right to a beggar-free stroll from the Holiday Inn to Milestone’s trumps the beggar’s right to ask for change?

You want to make the entertainment district more tourist-friendly, Case Ootes? STOP THE MURDERS!! Also, keeping fratboys from puking on the street as they stumble out of clubs would probably help.

[tags]stats, cobra boxes, panhandlers[/tags]