"You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed."

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Wired published an article last week called “Five Useless Gadgets You Should Throw in the Trash Right Now.” Setting aside the environmentally-unfriendliness of that for a second, I wonder how reasonable it would be for the average person to eschew everything on that list. I’m pretty accepting of technology, but all other things being equal I won’t adopt something — or get rid of it — if doing so constrains me. Their list was:

  1. printers
  2. scanners
  3. built-in optical drives
  4. fax machines
  5. landline phones

There’s only one thing on that list I could entirely live without: fax machines. I don’t own one but I have to occasionally use one for work, but only when there’s no other way. I always put up a fight before resorting to faxing. I rarely use my scanner (usually it’s in an attempt to avoid faxing…I scan and email a signed document) but I wouldn’t even bother to own one unless it was built into my printer. Speaking of which…I don’t use my printer that often (a standard 500-sheet pack of paper will last me a few years) but there are still enough cases where I can’t avoid it, like boarding passes until everyone sorts out the emailed/texted version. Optical drives are something else I barely use…when I got my new computer I installed some software from CD, but only because there’s where I had it. I’m sure I could have downloaded most of it just as easily. In this case it cost me nothing to include a CD writer and would have saved me nothing to take it out, and at least this way I can still make CDs for my dad, so I got one.

The landline phone seems to be the one I can’t get rid of. I suppose this is mainly because I don’t have a mobile. With my Blackberry (which isn’t voice-enabled) I haven’t needed one, and wouldn’t get one just to replace my landline. While I know lots of people who do use a cell instead of a landline, I think Canadian mobile pricing makes it a less attractive option here than elsewhere.

By the way, that title is one of the lines from Office Space, when Samir and Michael want to kill the printer/copier. When I checked imdb to verify I had the line right, I noticed that pretty much every line in the film is listed in the ‘memorable quotes’ section. Here’s my suggestion for how to quantify the ‘cult-ness’ of a movie: (imdb memorable quote page length) ÷ (movie script length).

Solferinoooooooooooooooo!!!

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Via BlogTo: Solferino enters the deadpool.

Solferino, rated by many as having the best gelato in Toronto slipped into the deadpool earlier this month. According to sources close to the owner, the gelateria couldn’t cope with rising food prices and increased rents in the St. Lawrence Market area. And with the always sluggish winter season approaching it was simply the right time to throw in the towel.

I have four words to say about this:

  1. Son
  2. of
  3. a
  4. bitch.

"Is Spongebob Squarepants supposed to be terrifying?"

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While the rest of the world was watching the US election Tuesday night, Nellie and I couldn’t stop ourselves from watching The Shield. As great as the show has been, the recent winner of Salon’s “Buffy” award has stepped up its game again in recent episodes. Now in the final season, the show is well into endgame mode, and I can barely stand waiting for each new episode. Best drama on TV right now.

I only qualify that, of course, because 30 Rock is the best comedy on TV right now. Last week’s episode was funny; this week’s was funnier. Kenneth alone made me laugh out loud half a dozen times tonight.

Still with TV, True Blood has gotten better, or maybe I’ve just gotten used to it. The first couple of episodes I was only mildly interested, but I’m enjoying it now. Wish they’d let Rene talk more though.

"I hope this story has an epilogue."

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More thoughts on last night’s US election:

For all the progress that was made last night, American “morality” politics still has some issues to work out. As happy as I am that Massachusetts voters approved a ban on greyhound racing, I’m appalled that California — California — voted to ban gay marriage. So did Arizona and Florida, but California comes as a surprise. On the plus side, this should help Canadian tourism. Attention gay American couples: your dollar will buy your wedding about 16.7% more fabulous up here. And hey, you might even be able to get Joey to play the accordion at your ceremony.

.:.

Last night, during John McCain’s gracious and eloquent concession speech, I remarked to my wife that the real John McCain showed up the second he knew he could no longer win. It’s bothered us both that McCain stooped to such pandering and self-mutilation in an attempt to win, and we clearly weren’t the only ones. Chris Jones has been writing in Esquire about the McCain campaign for some time, and today had this to say:

The future unfolded exactly as they envisioned it that night. Optimism won.

But something was lost in New Hampshire, too. That was the last time I saw McCain the way I first saw him. By the time Super Tuesday rolled around, he had grown smaller and smaller — not just in my viewfinder, but in my estimation. He had traded optimism for cynicism. He was irritable and sometimes seemed grasping, as though he would do whatever it took to win. John McCain, the politician, seemed to be on the verge of outflanking John McCain, the man.

Then he picked Sarah Palin as his running mate. I’d like to think someone else picked her for him, but how’s that the better option? She represented everything wrong with the Republican Party — the same intolerant elements that McCain had fought so hard against years earlier — and now there she was, smiling on the stage beside him. Historians will no doubt cite the collapsing economy and the legacy of George W. Bush as impossible obstacles for McCain to overcome. But for me, he lost the election when he picked Palin, because he lost the last vestige of his former self.

By Election Night, I’d given up trying to find what was left of him.

…

I couldn’t help remembering how this all started, and most of all I couldn’t help remembering the John McCain I used to know. I wondered how long it would take him to shed the candidate’s skin and become the man he was. I wondered if it was even possible in the time he has left.

I hope it is. I hope this story has an epilogue.

Me too. The old John McCain is a lot more valuable to his country than this recent incarnation.

Welcome back

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Four years ago, the day after the re-election of George W. Bush, I wrote this while trying to make sense of the previous evening’s events:

I firmly believe that just over half of those who voted (and those who did not vote who were complicit by their absence) had looked square at the past four years, an era that will, within a single generation, be regarded as a black mark on their nation’s history, and said “Again. Let’s do it again.” I believe they were either hopelessly ignorant, or were more corrupted by their own politics than I could have imagined.

I simply could not reconcile this with what I knew of America. This was a country that had made itself the lone remaining superpower. This was the country of equality and victorious war and comedy and science and cultural ubiquity and remarkable turnarounds. This was a country that had more than once looked at itself in the mirror, hated what it saw and led bloody revolution against its own prejudices and problems. This was my country’s constant ally, closest business partner and friend of a century. This was a country I’d visited often, where I was equally struck by Texas hospitality and the vitality of New York. Whatever concerns I had with the politics of the land — and I had many — I always counted on the people who lived there to make right what had so obviously gone wrong, as ever they had. But, in the end, it was obvious only to me…and, I suppose, to just fewer than 60 million American voters, as Mr. Bush and his administration had indeed been given another four years in power.

Last night a bit of my faith was restored. It remains to be seen what #44 does with the next four years, but at the very least he’d have to work awfully hard to be worse than #43.

Congratulations, America. That sound you hear? That’s the rest of the world patting you on the back and welcoming you back to the party.

[Image via Spacing]

"Please don't lick my makhani."

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Got Indian tonight for the first time in ages. Sooooooo good. Nellie has discovered that the Biryani House’s shrimp makhani sauce is just like butter chicken sauce, and I think if she could float in a pool of it on a naan raft, she would.

It was a long, loopy day at work, so it’s been nice to come home, eat a delicious dinner and watch things unfold south of the border. I wish I could blog something more interesting, but…that’s all I have. Sorry. Go about your business. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

Bookmark me, kids, I'm a reference!

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

I’ve noticed incoming traffic on my blog from Wikipedia, of all places. This blog post from 4½ years ago is referenced in the English Wikipedia entry for ‘Movie theater’. Presumably they’re linking to me because, scofflaw that I am, I included the full content of the now-archived Globe and Mail article in my post.

Hey, if I’m the presumptive authority on the death of cheap Tuesday, then I’m ready to lead. Can someone grab their general a Tribute magazine on the way in please? Thanks.

.:.

In other news, this is the funniest thing I saw all day. Courtesy of John Moltz, by way of Joey DeVilla.