The clone wars

Attention Toronto douchebags: you need a new wardrobe.

In the short time it took me to run three miles today, I saw four of you walk by wearing exactly the same thing: camouflage cargo shorts, pastel polo shirt w/ popped collar (this is crucial; the popped collar elevates one beyond the level of plain old wannabe and into the douch-y heavens), flip flops and aviator sunglasses. You also all had the same spiky hair.

While I admire your willingness to beat down any niggling scrap of individuality or free thinking you might’ve once been infected with, you may have taken it too far. I don’t think that even your mother could pick you out in a crowd anymore.

Baaaaaaa.

[tags]douchebag, popped collar[/tags]

Even better than cardamom made

More summerlicious-ness tonight, this time at Amaya. I’d heard great things about it, but…wow. Fantastic. I had the savory chaat, seafood xacutti, frozen mango mousse and a couple of Kingfishers. Nellie had the pakoras, vegetarian thali and spiced brownie. She also had a glass of wine, and T-Bone had a couple; it’s a good place to get wine as the two owners are sommeliers, and that knowledge and enthusiasm for wine seems to have trickled down to the servers.

If you want more detail, the full menu is on the Summerlicious site. I’m still full, but my mouth is watering again just reading it.

All that, and it was half the cost of our disappointing night at Lobby earlier in the week. No question about it: we’ll be heading back there soon.

[tags]amaya restaurant, summerlicious[/tags]

That's America's skinny toque, thank you very much

Richard Florida’s blog often points the way to some very interesting stats, but it’s rare to see a cross-border comparison like this: the percentage of obese adult population, broken by down state/province/territory.

Of the 50 + 10 + 3 regions, Canada would represent the six least obese, and eight of the top ten. I’m rather surprised by this; I didn’t think the lifestyle differences were that pronounced. I guess it’s because I tend to compare Canada to the northeastern US states, and that map gets decidedly more orange/brown as you move southeast (except for Florida, where all the Canadian retirees are bringin’ up the average!).

[tags]richard florida, obesity[/tags]

One step forward…

The (somewhat) good news for Canadian wireless customers: Rogers has caved and come up with a less horrid plan for the iPhone. You get 6GB for $30, but only if you sign up before Aug 31. And you still have to get a 3-year contract.

The bad news: Bell and Telus are using this opportunity, when all the ill will and reporting is aimed at Rogers, to announce that they’ll now be charging for incoming text messages, not just outgoing. From CTV:

Telus spokesperson Shawn Hall told CTV News the reason for the “moderate charge” is to “recover the cost of the investment we’re making in the network to handle the exponential growth in text messaging.”

Um, hang on. That doesn’t so much make with the, you know, sense. They’ve always charged $0.15 to send a message, right? And judging by their statement, the economics used to work. Let’s say that 5 years ago when there were (I’m making this up; the exact numbers don’t really matter) 1,000,000 text messages send, Bell made $150,000 and paid $150,000 for the infrastructure to support that (again, based on their earlier statement). Presumably that was a combination of the maintenance/operational cost and amortization on the hardware that they set up years before. So let’s say that there are now (again, making this up) 10,000,000 text messages sent; Bell would receive $1,500,000 and, unless texting hardware/software has gotten more expensive (and I’m really betting that it hasn’t), they would pay $1,500,000 to maintain it. Except that Bell will now earn $3,000,000 and pay $1,500,000, for a tidy profit (regardless of what the actual numbers are). Even if Bell has to upgrade their infrastructure to accommodate the additional volume, they can take the up-front hit and net out ahead as the equipment depreciates.

It would appear that Bell and Telus are dressing up a cash grab as a pity play. Oh, you customers love texting so much we’re just going to have to buy some new toys, but we’ll have to charge you extra. Rubbish. You’re a for-profit company, it’s well within your rights to look at the demand in the market and say, “Hey, people love texting so much that we could charge twice as much for it and volume wouldn’t go down by half, so it makes a ton of sense for our bottom line. Let’s do that.” Don’t pretend it’s to improve customer satisfaction. Look at how well that worked for banks with ATM “convenience fees”.

[UPDATE] While it’s unsurprising that the NDP would protest such a consumer-unfriendly fee, when you get the Conservative industry minister fighting you, you’ve probably gone too far.

[tags]rogers, telus, bell, canadian data rates, text messages[/tags]

I am prepeparing to kick your ass.

From the Globe and Mail: Going forward, rise up against crapspeak

Recently, a decree went around to local authorities in England and Wales – town and county councils, mostly – from the body that governs them, forbidding use of a long list of popular crapspeak terms. The Local Government Association sent out a list last week of 100 “non-words” for councils to avoid. According to The Associated Press, the list exhorted government officials to replace “revenue stream” with income and to avoid cryptic code words such as “coterminosity,” meaning an overlap of administrations. “Stakeholder engagement” can easily be replaced by “talking to people,” the chairman of the association said.

Almost simultaneously, a writer for the BBC’s online magazine posted a rant about the mindless cheeriness of the most popular catchphrases in business. Lucy Kellaway is on a campaign against “going forward” in particular, which, as we have noted, is used by every inarticulate person who wants to make some reference to the future. She accuses business folk, with their optimistic blue-skying and reaching out, and leveraging, all their synergies and passionate commitments to visions, of being brainlessly upbeat. “All the celebrating, the reaching out, the sharing, and the championing, in fact, grind one down,” she writes. “The reality is that business is the most brutal it has been for half a century.”

I couldn’t agree more. I hate having to listen to this every day. Actually, “going forward” might be one of the most egregious examples, along with “leverage” and “touch base offline.” Those make me want to claw my own ears off.

[Inspired by Currency Tim]

[tags]crapspeak, globe and mail[/tags]

Capitalism today!

Apple looks at Rogers, extends its arm, lifts its fist with knuckles pointed up, and emphatically extends its middle finger.

Apple Inc. will not be selling the hotly awaited iPhone in its six Canadian stores when it is released this Friday, leaving Rogers Communications Inc. and its Fido subsidiary to sell the device on their own.

“The iPhone 3G will be available in Canada from Rogers and Fido,” said Simon Atkins, spokesperson for Apple. He declined to elaborate.

The Cupertino, Calif.-based company broke the news during a private conference call on Monday evening, according to AppleInsider.com. The website said Apple was “disgusted” with the rates Rogers is charging on the iPhone, which has prompted nearly 50,000 people to join a protest at ruinediphone.com. An Apple store manager last week confirmed to CBCNews.ca that staff were “very disappointed” by the cellphone company’s rates and that Apple was keeping a tally of complaints.

[From the CBC]

.:.

From a purely economic standpoint one always wonders where the artificial “mental” tipping points are with consumers. For example, I’ve always wondered what the average price of a gallon of gas would have to be to curb purchases of SUVs and trucks in North America. It would seem we’ve reached that tipping point. From The Economist:

The Big Three were certain that America’s love affair with go-anywhere, do-anything, gas-guzzling trucks would never end—so much so that both Ford and Chrysler pinned their hopes of recovery on new versions of their bestselling pickups, the F-150 and Dodge Ram respectively. Chrysler even unveiled the new version of the Ram with a cattle-drive through the streets of Detroit in January.

But that conviction has lately been shattered. Figures released this week show that sales of cars and light trucks in America in June fell by 18% compared with the same period a year earlier. Chrysler’s sales were down by a stunning 36%, pushing its market share below 10% for the first time in decades. Ford dropped by 28%. Despite flinging costly rebates at the market, GM’s sales were still down by 18%. Even Toyota, which was widely expected to overtake GM for the first time last month, took a 21% hit, as it struggled both to sell its big Tundra pickup and to keep up with demand for its popular fuel-sipping hybrids. Honda, by contrast, which unlike Toyota and Nissan has never offered Americans chunky pickup trucks, actually increased its sales by 1.1% thanks to a 26% rise in sales of its economical passenger cars.

Of course, this could be a trailing indicator of the overall economic picture in the US, deteriorating due to the credit crunch. However, if you look at auto sales in Canada — where we tend to drive the same cars, but haven’t felt the same of economic shocks of late — you see a different picture. From Reuters:

GM Canada, which was coming off a 20 percent drop in sales in May, said its truck sales, which include sales of SUVs and minivans, skidded 35.3 percent to 14,243, while its car sales fell 11.5 percent to 18,122.

Ford Motor Co. of Canada (F.N: Quote, Profile, Research) said it sold 22,001 vehicles in June, down 13.7 percent from 25,485 a year earlier. Truck sales decreased 17.7 percent, while car sales fell 2.9 percent.

Chrysler Canada, which has more focus on passenger cars than trucks, bucked the trend set by its Big Three Detroit peers with a 1 percent gain in sales to 22,194 vehicles in June for its 23rd straight month of gains.

Toyota said it set a June sales record as it moved 22,428 units off its lots, a gain of 8.8 percent from a year earlier.

Environmental awareness could also be a factor here, but the rapid increase in gas prices is a more likely culprit.

Interesting to note: the price of cars is not going up, as far as I can tell. Just gas, a secondary good. In fact, as the first article pointed out, Toyota struggled to keep up with the demand for hybrids, which sell at a premium. So it seems clear that gas prices caused this shift; whether the shift is the result of informed decisions or media-fueled panic will become clear later, when (if?) the price of oil peaks and then starts to fall.

[tags]apple, rogers, auto sales, trucks, suvs, toyota, hybrid, gas prices[/tags]

Cry havoc…

…and let slip the dogs of my brain dump:

  • Tonight we dined at Lobby with T-Bone for Summerlicious. Meh. Not great, and the service was a little sketchy. Plus…$80 for a bottle of wine that tasted like water? Alrighty then.
  • I bought tickets for 50 TIFF films today. I look forward to being able to use them some day. We had to buy a weird combo…30 pack plus two packages of 10 rather than the 50 pack.
  • I hope the rumours about Apple punishing Rogers are true. It’s rare to see condemnation so universal as what Rogers has been enjoying the last couple of weeks. I’ll be curious to see the uptake of the iPhone this weekend; I’m pulling for New Coke-like sales figures.
  • Someone’s affixing stickers to Toronto Sun newspaper boxes describing the contents therein. Where can I donate labels & toner?
  • I’m with Michael Arrington: voicemail should die. Until every voicemail system in the world is converted to unified messaging (like my home phone, which emails me with the wav file when I get a voicemail), I will continue to ignore my voicemail messages until people stop leaving them for me.
  • I can’t wait for the new David Simon (writer of Homicide and The Wire) HBO series Generation Kill. Check out the trailer yonder. [language NSFW]

[tags]summerlicious, lobby, tiff, apple, rogers, toronto sun, voicemail, generation kill[/tags]

Summer meat

No, this is not a porn review.

I really thought that when I became (pseudo) vegetarian, summer would be excruciating. I thought that not being able to have hot dogs and hamburgers would suck the most during barbecue season, but then I realized…it’s not like there’s a whole lot of discernible meat in hot dogs or most store-bought hamburgers. In fact, hot dogs taste nothing like meat…they just taste like a slightly unpleasant excuse to eat a bun with some condiments on it. Therefore, veggie dogs — which I’ve had a few times now — taste just fine because…well, you can’t taste them. Like I said, they’re just bun, mustard, relish and bbq sauce delivery vehicles.

The lack of hamburger hasn’t hurt me either. I actually have access to a lot of very good veggie burgers all year round — Hero Burger, the nearby Jason George pub, the Auld Spot — but GB also showed us how to make very tasty burgers (the vegetable/lentil type, like the Auld Spot’s, not the meat-replica type) which we tend to only do on the barbecue.

I don’t really miss steak that much…I liked it, but I never craved it. What I do miss is barbecued Italian sausage. I tried the tofu version last night; again, you can mask the fact that it probably doesn’t taste very good with condiments, but it was definitely missing the sausage-y flavour. But for every n sausages that I don’t eat some pig lives, so I can suck it up.

[tags]veggie burger, veggie dog[/tags]