It’s beginning to feel like 1993

I’ve always been a hockey fan, and specifically a Montreal Canadiens fan, but I was never quite so obsessed as in the early 90s. In 1993 Montreal won the Stanley Cup, their last, and the last for any Canadian team. I remember every game. I could name the entire lineup, forward lines and D pairings included. And while they’ve only won two rounds, the Canadiens’ run in this year’s playoffs is starting to show some parallels.

In round 1 they were underdogs against a top-flight team, Toronto. In 1993, that team was Quebec. Quebec was up two games in the series before Montreal won 4 straight to move on.

Last week, in the second round, they swept Winnipeg, a bit of a surprise opponent after shocking the favoured Oilers. In 1993 they swept Buffalo in the second round, the Sabres having shocked the mighty Bruins in the opening series.

Montreal is riding a hot, seemingly unflappable goalie in Carey Price, much as Patrick Roy was after shaky games in the first series. Philip Danault is doing his best Guy Carbonneau impression, all but dismantling the other team’s top lines. The current team lacks offensive stars the likes of Muller, Damphousse, Bellows, and LeClair, but is rolling four lines.

The similarities get fuzzy now though. In the next round they’ll face Las Vegas, a team which doesn’t bear much resemblance to their 1993 opponent — a New York Islanders team fresh off a shocking upset of the defending two-time Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins. But what is familiar is that no one gives Montreal a chance of winning this series. Just like they had no chance against Toronto, and not much of one against Winnipeg.

Frankly, this is all gravy for me. I never expected them to make it out of the first round. Beating Toronto in their first series since 1979, coming back from 3-1 down and sending Leafs fans ever deeper than usual into their annual pit of despair…that’s all I needed.

215

I keep trying to write something, but I keep stumbling and giving up. I think about sharing the same thing on Instagram as everyone else, but I feel like I’m just noise at this point. I mean, how do you make your brain reconcile something like this?

I obviously didn’t experience this myself. I didn’t lose kids this way. I don’t have kids at all, and I imagine every parent who never asked themselves before how it would have felt to lose their child — or even lose their child — this way, must be asking themselves this week. Even with all that buffer and privilege, it still overwhelms my brain and brings me to tears.

This is our history. This is our legacy to face. These 215 bodies, still trapped in the earth we stole from them. The thousands and thousands of dead and abused. Generations of trauma. This is Canada. South Africa took tips on how to implement Apartheid from us. This has to be faced and reckoned with. Others have done the work for us to tell us how. We need national acceptance and political will.

I’m saying nothing new or insightful here. I’m just processing into a keyboard.

Tomorrow I’ll attend this march, and try to process some more, and try to help where I can.

Fans

The Canadiens won in overtime again tonight, sending their playoff series with the Leafs to a game 7. I’m not sure my heart can take it.

Apart from the OT goal, maybe the best thing about the game was that there were real live fans in the stands, for the first time since March of last year. Not just in Montreal, but in any Canadian city.

Sure, only 1/8 of the seats were full, but still…it was such a treat to see. It almost makes me remember the before times.

“We do it all the time, don’t we, Snips?”

Look, I get it: neither the movie nor the series of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which I recently finished, were aimed at someone my age. But damned if I didn’t have fun watching them, reliving my Star Wars obsessed youth, filling in gaps in stories, and establishing connections to characters I first saw in the more recent films or in The Mandalorian (which Lindsay is now 3/4 of the way through). Even identifying voices I heard at the end of The Rise Of Skywalker.

I don’t imagine Rebels (imdb), which I’ve just started, or new series The Bad Batch (imdb) are any more age-appropriate. But that’s not stopping me.

Cover photo by Chris Blonk on Unsplash

Shot #1

On Tuesday, thanks to VaxHunters, I saw a tweet saying people in our postal code could get vaccinated. I quickly moved some meetings around, grabbed Lindsay, and walked over. From the time we left until we were back at home, Pfizer jabs in-arm, it was ~35 minutes. Easy peasy!

Well, not quite easy-peasy; our arms hurt a lot that night, and I felt like shit the next day. I’d heard it was the second Pfizer shot that gets you, but since I probably still had antibodies from early April, maybe it was like the second shot? Anyway, it faded after ~24 hours, and luckily Lindsay never really had a reaction.

So that’s vax #1 in. And it coincided roughly with (a) nice weather, and (b) the Federal government’s easy-to-understand framework for where we’re headed. So for the first time in a while, I’m feeling not just resolved, but optimistic.

.:.

Cover photo by Chris Blonk on Unsplash

COVID toe

About a week ago I noticed an itch and some soreness on one of my toes. I didn’t know what it was; Lindsay said it looked like Athlete’s Foot, which seemed weird to me — my feet don’t really sweat much, and I can only ever remember having it once, back when I was a kid. Then it got really painful, not just itchy.

A little googling has revealed that this is a symptom of COVID, currently colloquially known as COVID toe. It’s one of many inflammations that have, or may still, affect us in the coming weeks. Mine didn’t manifest nearly as dramatically as the pictures in that link, but it still hurt like hell.

This virus really does just keep on giving.

“I care about one thing, and one thing only…and that’s bent coppers.”

Tonight will mark the final episode of Line of Duty (imdb | rotten tomatoes). I’m glad we started watching it when we did — just in time to be very present for the end of the series. I have become slightly obsessed with the show, and also with the episodes of the BBC podcast [*checks notes*] Obsessed With which cover it.

This final season, as with so many other series, is rushing to wrap up a lot of loose ends, and feels a bit clumsy for it. Still, I’m here for it. Bonus: we’re being treated to no end of Hastingsisms, like “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and the wee donkey too!” I also now say “Now we’re suckin’ diesel!” aloud anytime I make good progress on anything. Like I said, slightly obsessed. So I’m excited for tonight, but also a bit sad to be done.

Aside: until recently, I had no idea Martin Compston had a near-impenetrable Scottish accent.

Cover photo by JR P, used under Creative Commons license

Outdoor space. Thank the maker.

We’ve reached an exciting time of the year. I’ve always loved spring, both the maple-ness of it when I was a kid, but also the transition into warmth after long grey winters. I don’t know that I clinically suffer from S.A.D., but by March I’m usually pretty desperate for sun & warmth.

Luckily, we now have a house with a backyard. We’ve gotten furniture delivered, and have set up the table and 2 of the chairs — just enough to sit outside if it’s nice, which it has been on exactly ( *checks notes* ) ONE day so far this year.

Still…we’re excited.

.:.

Cover photo by JR P, used under Creative Commons license

From worry, to frustration, to despair

Yesterday was hard. It was hard to see the premier and other politicians elected to represent and protect Ontario’s citizens, presented the opportunity to finally — if far too late — do the right thing in the face of skyrocketing (but entirely predictable) COVID case numbers…and then bungle it so spectacularly. Instead of reinstating paid sick days, or any other protection of Ontario’s most vulnerable workers, Doug Ford chose to ignore science-based medical advice, and impose largely unhelpful restrictions on Ontarians. He denied them outdoor spaces, like playgrounds or campsites, even though the risk of outdoor transmission is very low and a generally-agreed-to-be-worthwhile risk given the physical and mental health benefits. He gave the police more power — likely unconstitutional power, mind you — to stop and question anyone they see on the street. Many municipal police forces have said they won’t use it, but if I were a Black person in this province, I would be very afraid indeed.

The Toronto Star’s front page today neatly sums up the frustration, shock, and rage at these latest moves. Not from people on the street, or on Twitter, but from medical and civil liberties experts.

Also yesterday, in an overtly political move, Ford declined an offer of Red Cross support from the federal government, saying “We do not have a capacity issue, we have a supply issue.” Both parts of that statement are false; on the same day his office issued that statement, Ford asked other provinces for help with capacity, equipment, and expertise. Meanwhile, vaccine doses go unused and appointments remain bafflingly difficult to book. Further: questions continue to swirl about why some postal codes were declared hotspots over others, when the data did not bear out such prioritization, and the aberrant data has some damning correlations to Tory minister ridings.

The province’s haphazard response a year ago could be blamed on confusion, the initial scramble of COVID panic and uncharted waters. Now, a year later, the premier and cabinet’s response can only be seen as inept and petty at best, dangerous and negligent at worst. Or, put another way:

To be clear, I feel all this frustration and rage out of empathy for my fellow Ontarians. I interact with this clusterfuck of an administration from the privileged vantage point of an affluent white man. I own my own house, with my own backyard, in a nice neighbourhood. I am not an essential worker, and I can work effectively from home 100% of the time. (Also, my employer provides paid sick days.) I have no kids climbing the walls, or other dependents. I have no pre-existing health conditions and, now that I’ve had COVID, I probably have some antibodies stored up. In the unlikely event that some cop stops me on my way to the pharmacy, my skin color will almost certainly keep anything bad from happening to me.

So if I feel all this, and I’m in quite possibly the most privileged state possible for an Ontarian, imagine how a front-line worker living in a poor or racialized neighbourhood feels. Imagine living at Jane & Finch, where you’re 9x more likely to be hospitalized but 4x less likely to be vaccinated than someone living in wealthy Moor Park (source) and FAR more likely to be targeted by police for the colour of your skin. Imagine the terror, and helplessness, felt by the most vulnerable Ontarians, as this doctor eloquently describes.

Of course, everyone I know with a brain in their head and a shred of empathy is already sickened by this, and feels something must be done. Unfortunately, both brains and empathy seem to be in short supply at Queen’s Park. Our outmatched premier has unnecessarily consigned hundreds of Ontarians to death at the hands of this virus, deaths which could have been avoided but for his incompetence and indifference.

.:.

In Macleans yesterday, Justin Ling got at why this is happening not just in Ontario, but effectively everywhere west of New Brunswick:

Scaremongering about outdoor transmission, and instituting curfews is a feat of social engineering. This an effort to ignore the data, withhold information, and twist the facts to scare us.

The conspiracy-minded will see that as an exercise in population control: Politicians getting their jollies off by playing dictator. 

The reality is more mundane—governments are doing this because they are frozen with indecision. Actually acknowledging the reality of the data means acknowledging this catastrophe was caused by governments’ idiotic reopening plans: Plans that were warned against by public officials at the time. Doing that means taking action that will hurt employment numbers, which could hurt our politicians fragile egos. Confronting this data and science also means admitting that all of our advice about washing your hands and not touching your face has been useless. And accepting that reality means provinces requiring sick leave, so people can go home if they’re ill.

Governments are loath to do any of that. They would rather shower us in meaningless pablum about how we, as citizens, need to do our part. The implication, of course, is that we are to blame for this crisis. That it’s us wayward youth who are driving this pandemic. Our lack of personal responsibility means they have to ground us to our rooms. Stay home, for god’s sake!

If our politicians stop blaming us for outbreaks, we may start blaming them.

Transitioning out of quarantine

I ended my 10-day quarantine period yesterday. I seem to have followed a pretty standard track for symptoms — it got bad earlier this week, but I worked Tuesday morning, then rested up all day Wednesday and Thursday. By Friday I felt well enough to work a half day. I’m still pretty out of energy, and my throat is sore when I wake up in the mornings. But I rarely need to cough now, and my senses of smell and taste are recovering. Last night I made dinner and drank some wine, and for the first time in a week didn’t need Neo-Citran to sleep. Lindsay is a few days behind me still, but seems to be on the same path.

The advice I got from public health is that these lingering symptoms could hold on for weeks, which I’m not looking forward to. But all in all, I’m very thankful it was as mild as it was. Clearly it could have been much, much worse. I guess the trick will be to not push myself too hard, as I’m wont to do at the end of a cold or typical flu. This bug doesn’t seem to react well to it.

Still, it’ll be hard — I’m super-behind on work, as I really just forced myself to lie around and watch huge amounts of TV. I watched all of The Spy (imdb | rotten tomatoes) and finished Lovecraft Country (imdb | rotten tomatoes) and numerous episodes of Clone Wars. Together we watched all six episodes of Q: Into The Storm (imdb | rotten tomatoes) and finished Retribution aka One Of Us (imdb | rotten tomatoes).