"We believed, after being told that if we didn't, we would die."

I don’t think Esquire gets enough respect. For a magazine that too often gets lumped in to the “Men’s Interest” section of the magazine rack with Details and GQ, it strikes a good mix of fun, hotness and (relative) intellectual stimulation. For examples of the first look no further than {dreamy sigh} their most recent winner of the Hottest Woman Alive award. For examples of the last, I submit the following:

1. A Little Counterintuitive Thinking on Gays, Guns, and Dead Babies, in which John H. Richardson turns the dogma of three standard conservative planks on their ears.

In this country, ten states supply fifty-seven percent of the guns that police recover from criminals in all other states. When compared to the ten states that supplied the fewest firearms, a recent nationwide analysis found that those ten gun-toting states also had nearly sixty-percent more homicides and three times as many cops dead from gunfire.

The difference between the states with all those cops shot dead and the others boils down to two obvious realities: gun-show regulations and gun-permit requirements. (I’ll leave you to decide which states have strict rules and which don’t). It’s another symbol with a body count, another political football with terrible consequences in the world as it actually exists. In the name of absolute firearm freedom without any restrictions — which will never be anything but a symbol until private citizens can buy working tanks and fighter planes — all those real cops are really dead.

2. What the Hell Just Happened? A Look Back at the Last Eight Years, a remarkable short piece of work by Tom Junod which carries more heft than the title suggests.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The irony of 9/11 and the wars that followed was that they were supposed to disestablish irony as a reigning sensibility; instead, they wound up exposing us to ironies of the bitterest and darkest and cruelest kind. That is, not McSweeney’s — style irony, the irony of bright minds roaming free in increasingly confined spaces; but ironies contrived by the brutal hand of history itself. The ironies of the Bush Years were ironies that exposed the consequences of our assent, guided — missile ironies that were unerringly aimed at point after point of the American creed, which began 2001 as the foundation of our belief and ended 2008 as the scaffolding of our credulity. America does not attack countries that have not attacked us. America does not torture. America takes care of its own. America follows the rule of law. America’s laws are built upon the principle of habeas corpus. America’s distinction is its system of checks and balances. American democracy is the inspiration of the world, and American capitalism the envy. America is better than that, no matter what “that” might be. These are not political statements; these are articles of faith, and yet in the Bush Years they suffered a political fate, as they became yoked to an administration that endured the irony of being the most image-conscious in American history at the precise historical moment when any control over how images were either promulgated or consumed was completely lost.

I encourage you to read both; the former is very short; the latter is worth every word of its three pages. And the next time you’re in a store, think about picking up an issue of Esquire.

"I hope this story has an epilogue."

More thoughts on last night’s US election:

For all the progress that was made last night, American “morality” politics still has some issues to work out. As happy as I am that Massachusetts voters approved a ban on greyhound racing, I’m appalled that California — Californiavoted to ban gay marriage. So did Arizona and Florida, but California comes as a surprise. On the plus side, this should help Canadian tourism. Attention gay American couples: your dollar will buy your wedding about 16.7% more fabulous up here. And hey, you might even be able to get Joey to play the accordion at your ceremony.

.:.

Last night, during John McCain’s gracious and eloquent concession speech, I remarked to my wife that the real John McCain showed up the second he knew he could no longer win. It’s bothered us both that McCain stooped to such pandering and self-mutilation in an attempt to win, and we clearly weren’t the only ones. Chris Jones has been writing in Esquire about the McCain campaign for some time, and today had this to say:

The future unfolded exactly as they envisioned it that night. Optimism won.

But something was lost in New Hampshire, too. That was the last time I saw McCain the way I first saw him. By the time Super Tuesday rolled around, he had grown smaller and smaller — not just in my viewfinder, but in my estimation. He had traded optimism for cynicism. He was irritable and sometimes seemed grasping, as though he would do whatever it took to win. John McCain, the politician, seemed to be on the verge of outflanking John McCain, the man.

Then he picked Sarah Palin as his running mate. I’d like to think someone else picked her for him, but how’s that the better option? She represented everything wrong with the Republican Party — the same intolerant elements that McCain had fought so hard against years earlier — and now there she was, smiling on the stage beside him. Historians will no doubt cite the collapsing economy and the legacy of George W. Bush as impossible obstacles for McCain to overcome. But for me, he lost the election when he picked Palin, because he lost the last vestige of his former self.

By Election Night, I’d given up trying to find what was left of him.

I couldn’t help remembering how this all started, and most of all I couldn’t help remembering the John McCain I used to know. I wondered how long it would take him to shed the candidate’s skin and become the man he was. I wondered if it was even possible in the time he has left.

I hope it is. I hope this story has an epilogue.

Me too. The old John McCain is a lot more valuable to his country than this recent incarnation.

It's that last 0.28% that'll kill you

Last night’s loss by the Canadiens almost killed me. Watching Montreal completely outplay Florida for 58 minutes and then give up the tying goal with 10 seconds left, finally losing the game on the last shot of the shootout…it was almost too much to bear.

After the game Alex Kovalev couldn’t hide his displeasure with coach Guy Carbonneau, re-igniting rumours of Kovalev’s imminent trade to Calgary. Keep it up, Kovalev, sez I.

.:.

Key strategic takeaways from today:

There will be a quiz next month.

[tags]canadiens, esquire magazine, iran, darth vader harmonica, matador parking lot, stephen colbert[/tags]