Dear Ticketmaster,

I don’t know who built your profiling system or who your analytics provider is. But I implore you, fire them. In the past year or so I have used your site to purchase tickets for the following events: Neko Case, The Pixies, The Fiery Furnaces, Celtic FC vs. AC Roma, and The Arcade Fire. Based on those purchases, as well as my alert preferences (‘Alternative Rock’, ‘Basketball’, and ‘Plays’), you sent me this last night:

To: radioDan
From: Ticketmaster Canada
Subject: Don’t miss Backstreet Boys

At this point I am not pleased. But then I see your twenty suggestions, and it’s all downhill.

  • Backstreet Boys
  • Bruce Springsteen
  • Bill Gaither
  • Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
  • Destiny’s Child
  • George Carlin
  • Gigantour: Megadeth and Dream Theater
  • David Gray
  • David Spade
  • Death From Above 1979
  • Queen – It’s a Kinda Magic Tour
  • Dwight Yoakam
  • Roger Hodgson(Formerly of Supertramp), with a Symphony Orchestra
  • Glasgow Rangers Vs.dinamo Zagreb
  • Blue Man Group At the Panasonic Theatre
  • Trisha Yearwood
  • Spirit of the West
  • En Vogue
  • Michael McDonald
  • Ten Tenors

Now, the only events on here I would even consider seeing are Bruce Springsteen, Ben Harper, George Carlin, Blue Man Group and the football match. But Harper’s out ’cause he’s playing at the Kool Haus (check your profile; I haven’t seen a concert there in five years…should tell you something.); likewise Carlin at Rama. And since you know I bought tickets to see Celtic last year, what’re the odds I’ll want to go see Rangers this year, what with them being mortal enemies and all? So you’re left with the Boss and the Blue Men, and I’m not sure how Springsteen qualifies as alternative rock.

Seriously, fire them.

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