Canada’s Live 8 lineup & location finally confirmed blah blah blah. First of all…Barrie?
Second of all, what retarded archaeologist dug up this set list?
- Bryan Adams (This might’ve been a good choice twenty years ago. I had no idea he was still alive.)
- Celine Dion (Oh, come the fuck on.)
- Blue Rodeo (See Bryan Adams, subtract ten years.)
- Great Big Sea (You know, every time these guys get on stage, the whole of Atlantic Canada shudders. These guys are about as east coast as the yob from the Keith’s commercials.)
- Our Lady Peace (This surprises me. If I were Raine Maida and lived with Chantal Kreviazuk, I would just never leave the house.)
- African Guitar Summit (Who?)
- Barenaked Ladies (Ah, the comic relief. God knows Dan Aykroyd and Tom Green won’t provide it.)
- Jann Arden (Seriously? No, but…seriously?!)
- Bruce Cockburn (See Bryan Adams, add ten years.)
- Deep Purple (What?)
- Gordon Lightfoot (OK, all kidding aside, I honestly thought Gord was dead.)
- The Tragically Hip (To the great surprise of no one. There would’ve been an inquiry called if they hadn’t been signed up. As much as I don’t give a shit about the Hip anymore, they’re the logical choice for a shindig like this.)
- Tom Cochrane (See Blue Rodeo.)
- Motley Crue (WHAT?!?)
- Sam Roberts (Finally, the last band listed is the one worth seeing. That means he’ll be on a side stage at 1:00 PM getting drowned out by Vince Neil’s vomiting.)
I’m embarassed. Why in the fuck are we perpetuating to the world the myth that the only two worthwhile Canadian musicians are Bryan Adams and CELINE FUCKING DION!!?!??
My kingdom for an Arcade Fire…
[update] As TOist points out Bryan Adams and Celine Dion can’t even be arsed to come to Toronto Barrie to perform. They’re conferencing in from Las Vegas.
Skirl | Dan Dickinson 
I would say that there are two reasons, one my own and one offered by Bob Geldof.
1. How are you going to pull in the most attention? By appealing to the lowest common denominator. It’s no surprise that more people know the names Celine Dion and Bryan Adams than The Arcade Fire (despite a shout-out on UK TV last week from Coldplay as their favourite band) or Death from Above 1979. This isn’t about appealing to music fans, it’s about appealing to the masses.
2. Similar to the first point: how are you going to pull in big international audieneces, both for the broadcast and for the eventual DVD, especially in Asia? By big names, not by good names. Dion and Adams are, unfortunately, still big in Japan. This is why, Geldof responded, there were no African performers, and barely any black people, on the London card of an event for Africa. And why Bob is allowing Peter Gabriel to run an all-African Live8 concert.
It’s simply the fact that this is an event about awareness, not music appreciation. And many more people know, and will tune in to hear, Summer of ’69 than Wake Up.
You can appeal to the masses without reaching back 2-3 decades. Not that I’m a fan, but what about Avril Lavigne? Nickelback? Sum 41? Shania Twain? Bands like Hot Hot Heat, The Arcade Fire & The New Pornographers could be a good second-tier draw.
Also, why bother sticking to Canadian acts? We went out and got Deep Purple and Motley Crue (and now Jet, apparently), so why not get some better international acts?
It’s just…they…we…you’re getting a fucking Pink Floyd reunion!! We’re getting Bryan Adams and Celine Dion via satellite!!!!