The war on Christmas exists mainly in my head right now. I like buying gifts for people, I like knowing that I’m heading back to Nova Scotia soon for several days of relaxation, and I like the general idea of a time of year when people are meant to be nicer to each other.

However, judging by what I saw today, the vast majority of the population turns into jerks around the holidays. Our first few shopping stops — Toys ‘R Us, Future Shop, Indigo — were fairly uneventful. But then, walking along Yonge near Rosedale, some fuckass threw his gum from a moving car and hit me in the head. I would’ve given almost anything to be holding a can of pepsi or a baseball right then; unfortunately all I could do was watch the car drive away. A few minutes later in a bakery I was waiting my turn in line when I was butted in front of not once, but twice. Once I could tolerate; it was busy and exactly where the line ended might’ve been unclear to an addle-minded customer. The second time, though, was blatant: some big-haired big-spectacled Rosedale matron bullhorned her way ahead of me in line. A third person tried to do it; fortunately the clerk waved her off and pointed to me just as I was about to lose my holiday spirit. Pa rum pa pum pum.

Though we had only one more stop it was a killer. Note to self: avoid all yuppie furniture stores after December 1st, if not altogether. We left with giant bags piled atop smaller bags, and by the time I got home, because of the way I had to carry one of the heavy bags, I’d pulled something in my left forearm. We ate our lunch and went back out to finish off our errands, but in one of the stores the lineup was at least 30 people long, so I’ll have to do that one Monday.

“Hell is other people.” –Sartre

“Especially when they’re carrying shopping bags.” –Dickinson

Fortunately, we were able to hole up in the apartment to do some cleaning before friends come over tonight — Swiss Chalet and Die Hard, baby! — while listening to my indie holiday music mix, and now I have a few hours to relax before they arrive. It may not feel much like Christmas (especially the weather: 11 degrees and rain tomorrow!) but at least I’m ready to jump on board when it gets here.

[tags]christmas shopping[/tags]