While walking to work today I noticed a sign in a store window that read, “Clinical strength Cutera Yag.” I thought to myself, That’s good, ’cause when I eat* Cutera Yag I’d only want the strongest, most medicinal kind.

Seriously, I don’t know why anyone would even bother with the mild version. What’s the point of buying some Cutera Yag if it’s just weak-ass shit that won’t do the job. I mean, really. I should also point out that the store was in/near Yorkville, so you just know that all the crazy plastic ladies who lunch who hang out around there wouldn’t be having no substandard Cutera Yag.

* It should be obvious by now that I haven’t a fucking clue what Cutera Yag is. I also have no idea what one does with it…does one eat it? Smoke it? Rub it on one’s skin or else it gets the hose again?

UPDATE: a Cutera Yag is some kind of laser that destroys hair and veins. Or something. So there you go. You learn something new, expensive and retarded every day.