A little while I (God a’mighty, but this sounds poncy) went to Holt Renfrew to buy my cologne. Let me explain: it’s not that I seek out things from Holt Renfrew — in general I never shop there as I find it far too pretentious and the customer service, if you don’t reek of money, is terrible — but I happened across an article online that said this one was great and I did need a new one and they only happen to sell it at Holt Renfrew and I didn’t want to spend time comparing fucking colognes and so I just went and bought it aaaaaaaaand Ikindoffeellikeawankernow.
Anyramble, I went to pick some up. The guy there tried to do the upsell — ooh, we’re almost out, do you want to buy two? — but I declined. The first one lasted me a year. He suggested, then, that I take one of their sample bags so I could pick something else I like. I said fine and jammed it in the bag. When I got home I realized he’d thrown about 20 samples in there. Oy.
But hey, never being one to pass up a little scientific experimentation, I decided to try each one for one day, just to see if I like it. I reach in blindly, take out a bottle without looking, wear it for the day to see if I smell like a fancy girl and then see what it was when I get home. Maybe I’ll discover something that’s not awful that can be purchased a different store.
So far Wood by Dsquared (I think…I may have the brand and company mixed up) is okay, but the Bulgari something or other I wore today smells as if I gorged on flower petals and orange juice and then threw up on my shirt.
So that’s a ‘no’ then.