From the raw story:

“People who drink two or more sweetened soft drinks a week have a much higher risk of pancreatic cancer, an unusual but deadly cancer, researchers reported on Monday.”

So, two a week is bad, but two a day is okay, right? Please? C’mon, gimme this one. I’ve had a long day, I’m tired and my pancreas hurts for some reason.

Hang on, hang on…that says “sweetened soft drinks” up there. Does that mean sugar and not artificial sweeteners?

“”The high levels of sugar in soft drinks may be increasing the level of insulin in the body, which we think contributes to pancreatic cancer cell growth,” [study leader Mark] Pereira said in a statement.”

Beautiful! Aspartame FTW!! I may now resume my rampant Diet Pepsi habit.