"Dammit! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!" "Jar!!"

TV used to be something I loved. Then, sports notwithstanding, I all but stopped watching it. Then HBO and The Sopranos and The Shield and The Wire and Six Feet Under happened and I kind of fell in love with it again. Now I think I’m back on the down-swing. I didn’t think I watched many shows anymore, but when I looked at the full lineup it seemed as if I must like a shit-ton of TV…until I categorized them.

Shows that I still watch pretty regularly, but if they went off the air tomorrow it wouldn’t really bother me: The Big Bang Theory, The Daily Show, Modern Family
TDS is still the best news/satire on TV, but it’s got to be wearing on Jon Stewart to keep beating his head against this wall. At this point I think it’s wearing on me. Modern Family makes me laugh, but more often than that it makes me miss Arrested Development. And really, at this point the only funny things on The Big Bang Theory are Melissa Rauch, Mayim Bialik and Kaley Cuoco.

Shows that are basically just playing out the string now but I still feel compelled to watch: 30 Rock, The Office
Jack and Liz are no longer funny enough to offset my hatred for Tracy and Jenna. And The Office is liked a corpse, shocked momentarily by the EMT paddles of Mindy Kaling, Creed Bratton or James Spader.

Shows that I’m still watching, but which are on a very short leash: Californication, The Killing, True Blood, The Walking Dead
Californication has always won because of the dialogue and the sweet relationship Hank has with his daughter, but now the other shit is just out of hand. The Killing was yanking my chain halfway through the first season, fer chrissakes. True Blood used to be at least mildly interesting with the politics and the interesting Russell-inspired mayhem, but now it’s just Twilight for old(er) ladies. And The Walking Dead had me in the first season, but lost me in the second season right around the time it put me into that coma.

Shows that I wish would just freaking come back from the off-season already: Breaking Bad, Game Of Thrones, Mad Men, Nurse Jackie, Sons Of Anarchy, Treme
Breaking Bad, Game Of Thrones and Mad Men are pretty much the best things on TV right now. Nurse Jackie, Sons Of Anarchy and Treme aren’t quite in the same weight class, but they’re still better than most of the dreck that happens when I stray outside south of channel 1300 (TMN) on my guide.

New shows that I just started watching, and have pretty much written off already: Alcatraz, House Of Lies
I wanted to like the both of you, really I did. But House Of Lies, you’re so smug and intent on showing us this quirky world of consulting which, let’s face it, is nothing like that you portray…and I hear quite enough of that doublespeak from consultants at my day job, thank you. And Alcatraz, you’re just formulaic.

Shows that I just started watching, and love: Homeland, New Girl
Let’s be clear, I’ll watch anything with Damien Lewis or Zooey Deschanel. But so far (we’ve only watched the first 8 episodes of Homeland, and the first half-season of New Girl) both shows have been really good. The question for both will be whether they have any staying power.

Shows that I just started watching, and love, but are already off the air: Party Down
Dammit!!!

Shows that I’m expecting to like, but haven’t started watching just yet: Justified, Luck
I don’t even know what Justified is about, but it’s a recommendation from a pretty trusted source. Luck is directed by Michael Mann, written by David Milch and stars Dustin Hoffman and Nick Nolte. I don’t care if they break into song each episode, it’s getting a least a season with me just based on that pedigree.

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