Category: Dumbassedness

A biiiiiiiiiiiig cut

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Politicians often say stupid things. This is news to precisely no one. Some politicians occasionally say very stupid things, the sort late-night talk show hosts make fun of for a few days. Once in a while a politician will say something stupid and offensive, in which case they often resign.

Once in a while, though, a politician will say not one, but several things so profoundly stupid that you skip right over mockery and go straight to pity and bewilderment. Witness the latest: Katherine Harris, who can’t even get Florida Republicans to back her (even after she helped pilfer the 2000 election). She had this to say:

  • Separation of church and state is “a lie we have been told”;
  • Separation of church and state [is] “wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers.”;
  • “If you’re not electing Christians, then in essence you are going to legislate sin”;

Zowie! Well…it’s obvious she’s trying to a) generate some publicity through controversy, and b) guarantee herself at least the wingnut vote which, in Florida, is not inconsequential. It can’t go anywhere, though; even Florida conservatives won’t go down those roads. She’s down 16-0 in the bottom of the ninth, and she just wants to put one run on the board so she doesn’t get shut out. This is what’s known as “swinging for the fences.”

What might bug me the most is that the immediate reaction was one of “that’s not fair to Jews.” And it wasn’t, certainly, but it’s a little bigger than that, don’t you think? I mean, had she said, “If you’re not electing Christians or Jews, then in essence you are going to legislate sin,” would that have been ok?

All quotes from CNN.

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It looks like the Chuck Palahniuk novel Choke is coming to the big screen after all. I’ll be curious to see how much they tone it down.

[tags]katherine harris, wingnut, chuck palahniuk, choke adapted for big screen[/tags]

The home stretch

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

The paper’s due in three days, and I’m almost done. Just a few more sections and then the clean-up. Hopefully I can get it done a little earlier than planned; I need a couple of days to prepare for the film festival. I’ve also been taking time away from the office (it’s my company’s custom MBA program, so they kindly give us a little time off when we really need it…until now I just hadn’t really needed any) and I’ve been neglecting some important work. I’ll be glad to get back into the normal swing of things. In October.

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Need to move a giant statue of Ramses II? Google Earth can help you do it. And I thought it was just for showing me local pizza joints…

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In what might possibly be the oddest headline I’ve read in a while, the CBC informs us of “New clues into identity of 19th-century legless, mute Maritimer“. Good, ’cause I was wondering about that.

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Speaking of mute, Gilles Duceppe should really give it a try sometime.

“We have this ridiculous economic policy that when exports grow, the economy gets stronger and the value of our currency increases. Then exports decline and things get worse. It’s always like a yo-yo,” Mr. Duceppe said yesterday.

You know what else Gilles? When I turn my stove on, the water in my kettle boils. When I turn it off, it cools down again. It’s always like a yo-yo! Actually, that was giving him too much credit; what he’s saying is the boiling water in my kettle is causing my stove to switch on, and the cooling of the water switches the stove back off.

In theory — and only in theory — this man could be our Prime Minister. As much as I dislike Stephen Harper, at least he seems to grasp basic economics.

[tags]ramses ii, legless mute maritimer, gilles duceppe[/tags]

Sleaziness = ratings

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

The wall-to-wall JonBenet Ramsey coverage is as baffling as it is disgusting. Yes, it’s tragic that a little girl was killed; it always is. But would the news networks consider it as tragic if she weren’t a tiny white [shudder] “beauty queen”? Or if they hadn’t harangued the parents with insinuations of guilt?

Is this story more important than the cease-fire in Lebanon? Than the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Than the looming problems of Iran or North Korea? On CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and CTV (all linked above) these stories were buried underneath such breaking news as a chocolate virgin mary and Justin Timberlake dissing the latest American Idol chum*.

I guess I’m not surprised; the networks are just giving the idiots what they want. I’m just disappointed that they all sink to the bottom of the cesspool, hand in hand with smiles on their faces.

* don’t even get me started on the irony.

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Wired has some details about the Microsoft MP3 player (aka, the Zune). If that thing has 80+ GB of storage, I might be getting me one.

[tags]jonbenet ramsey, network coverage, chocolate virgin mary, justin timberlake vs. taylor hicks, zune[/tags]

One more reason to hate country music "artists"

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

I wanted to wait until she posted it herself before recounting the news that my friend MLS is now a mom. Congratulations to she, Ed and Kennedy!

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Man Of The Year looks pretty good.

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Ahem. Troy Lee Gentry, as you are a country singer, I have never heard your music. I know nothing about you, public or private. However, if this report turns out to be true, then I feel safe in saying that you, sir, are a cowardly, pathetic bag of shit. You also appear to have no neck. You fucktard.

[tags]baby kennedy, man of the year, redneck twat allegedly shoots helpless bear to compensate for tiny misshapen penis[/tags]

Why can't they ever vomit on, say, the kitchen floor?

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Here I was, having a good weekend, and suddenly whammo…cat problems. Last night, around 1:00, one of the cats pukes all over my laptop bag. Seriously, it’s like he aims for personal items. Trying to clean everything out of the bag and wash it off while still half asleep was buckets of fun. Then this morning I woke up to find the other cat limping; I guess he did something to his foot/leg overnight. Probably beat the crap out of his brother a little too emphatically. I’ll watch it for a day or so and take him to the vet if it doesn’t get better.

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Today’s idiots: Dr. Ted Baehr, who claims Talladega Nights makes fun of Jesus [via Yes But No But Yes], and the lady who thinks the tree in her backyard is gurgling out “God’s water”.

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Another great picture from Sam at Daily Dose of Imagery. You can actually see our building under construction a few blocks to the southwest.

[tags]cats, vomit, injured paw, ted baehr, talladega nights, god’s water, daily dose of imagery, moss park[/tags]

"You call it an electrified anal prod, I say tomato."

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Today I watched Little Dieter Needs To Fly (imdb | rotten tomatoes), a Werner Herzog documentary about Dieter Dengler, a German man who moved to America because he wanted to be a pilot, eventually winding up a prisoner of war after being shot down over Vietnam. It was totally engrossing and captivating, unbelievable in parts. I highly recommend it.

In a funny little coincidence, not an hour after I finished watching the documentary I read that Werner Herzog will be showing a movie at this year’s film festival…a retelling of Dieter Dengler’s story. I’ll be doing my damndest to see that.

Which reminds me…a while back I also watched Incident At Loch Ness (imdb | rotten tomatoes), another Herzog [ahem] documentary. It’s pretty entertaining.

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TOist takes on the ugly yellow obelisk at the corner of Yonge & Bloor. I would have suggested that abandoned storefront on Bloor between Spadina and Bathurst next, but it seems to have found someone to love it again.

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The US Government is moving to protect their interrogators from prosecution even if they’re found guilty of “humiliating or degrading wartime prisoners.” This isn’t surprising, given the kind of things I read about in this Esquire article or how you see Alberto Gonzales act in this Daily Show clip.

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If this is true — or even close to true — then people are even dumber than I thought: 30 percent of them can’t remember what year the September 11 terrorist attacks took place.

[tags]little dieter needs to fly, werner herzog, rescue dawn, hudson bay obelisk, interrogation, prisoner abuse[/tags]