Category: Dumbassedness

MARS! I mean…BELL!!

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

I installed Flock over the weekend, and so far I’m liking it. I had a quick look at earlier versions and didn’t think much of it, but this release candidate for v1.0 is pretty good. The integration with Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and YouTube (among others) is great. The biggest downside so far is that I miss all the Firefox extensions…AdBlock, better downloaders, etc. Hopefully someone develops more extensions for Flock soon; I’d like to keep using it.

.:.

There’s a giant billboard that I see every day on my walk home. It’s an advertisement for a book. The title is “Think Big and Kick Ass.” The author is one Donald Trump, but his name is displayed simply as “Trump.” Sorry…”TRUMP.” The cover picture is TRUMP yelling at somebody, or something. Presumably he was in mid ass-kick when the picture was taken. Perhaps he was kicking the photographers ass. Perhaps TRUMP was thinking big, and devising a plot to kick the ass of every photographer in the world.

Anyway, all I can think every day as I pass this billboard is that an obnoxious muppet with all the money in the world is still just an obnoxious muppet. Sorry…MUPPET.

.:.

Just when I thought I was out they pull me back in. I’d all but given up on Heroes; lo and behold they bring in my girlfriend du jour, Kristen Bell. So much for not watching.

[tags]flock, donald trump, think big, kick ass, heroes, kristen bell, girlfriend du jour[/tags]

Once more with litigation

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It’s gray. It’s cold. It’s fall!

.:.

Apparently my blog post from Thursday night made CBGB hanker for the beerbistro, but when we got there last night at 5:00 it was jammed full. Plan B ended up being the Jason George, just down the street, where we started drinking a variety of beer but were all drinking Blanche de Chambly in the end. They came back to ours for one of the bottles of wine that followed us home from France.

.:.

My new musical obsession: the song “Oh My” by Office. Here’s the video.

By the way…girlfriend du jour: Jessica.

.:.

Your daily dose of dumbassery*:

(* apologies to Sam Javanrouh)

[tags]autumn, beerbistro, jason george, blanche de chambly, office, oh my, ian curtis, joy division, control movie, buffy, once more with feeling, lapel pin, bill maher, daily dose of imagery[/tags]

The broken dolly is crying again

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Once again Ann Coulter, starved for attention, has vomited out a stream of spectacularly stupid and enthusiastically offensive bile.

Conservative commentator and best-selling author Ann Coulter may find herself in the midst of a controversy for comments Monday suggesting America would be better if everyone was Christian.

…

Later in the interview Deutsch asked Coulter if she doesn’t want any Jews in the world, Coulter responded, “No, we think — we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.”

Soon people will stop paying attention to her little jokes and she won’t know what to do with herself. I expect her to just start cutting in public any day now.

[tags]ann coulter, donny deutsch[/tags]

Wouldn't a sky god prefer, I don't know, an ostrich or something?

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

I hereby declare tonight “the calm before the storm.”

.:.

Quechup sucks. I say that not because of their actual social networking site (ever tried it) but because of their dickish ways of spreading themselves around. They screwed my brother and several other friends, all of whom accidentally spammed every contact in their address book thanks to Quechup. A quick Technorati search finds lots of other pissed off victims too.

Quechup sucks. Spread the word.

.:.

Naomi Klein, author of No Logo, has a new book out called Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism. There’s a short film that accompanies the book, directed by Alfonso Cuarón (who also directed the excellent Children Of Men). It’s only 6.30 in length, so I urge you to pop over to YouTube and spend a few minutes with it.

.:.

This story about Nepal’s state-run airline boggles the mind and turns the stomach:

Officials at Nepal’s state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.

I find it horrifying that any religion would call for animal sacrifice. I find it equally horrifying that a mechanic could believe strongly enough in the sky god that, just maybe, they skimp on the actual mechanical repairs ’cause they figure old SG has it covered.

Separation of church and aviation industry. You heard it here first.

[via Rick Segal]

.:.

I think Rick Rubin may have been possessed by the ghost of Johnny Cash when he tore a strip off his own record label, and trashed the music industry as a whole.

.:.

Injury update: my wrist is nearly healed. I’m about 99% pain-free, feeling twinges only when I jam my hand on something or flick it sharply (like when I’m making the bed and I snap the sheet). It’s still a little swollen, so I can’t push my hand into a right angle with my arm without pain, but for the most part it’s ok. My first broken bone, and I’d have to say I got off pretty easy.
[tags]quechup sucks, naomi klein, alfonso cuaron, shock doctrine, nepal, akash bhairab, rick rubin, broken wrist[/tags]

Dan's labyrinth

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

So I’ve been trying to sign in to my school’s website. It’s felt a little like an Edgar Allen Poe story. Follow along, if you dare:

I go to the course website (which I’ll call site A) but it won’t take my username and password. Fair enough; it’s been months since I signed in so there’s a chance (a small one; I’m pretty good with passwords) I’m just forgetting what it is. That’s why god invented the ‘Forgot your password’ link. I click it. It takes me to site B.

On site B I’m asked for an email address to which the password can be sent. I input every email address I might have used, but it tells me none of these are valid. Clearly there’s something wrong with the system, so I email the administrator.

The administrator, very unhelpfully, emails me a link to site C where I can reset my password. It tells me I need my student ID, my netID (also known as my username) and an “alternate email address” where the password will be sent. I try this form several times using a variety of email addresses, but none of those work either. I am told that I need to visit another site, site D, to establish an alternate email address.

At site D I am told that I need my student ID and a PIN to sign in. PIN? I know no PIN, and have no recollection of setting one up. Never fear, there’s a PIN reset. I enter my student ID and click ‘Forgotten PIN’. I get the following message: “Authorization Failure – Security Question is not setup.” Ummm…ok, maybe I never set up a PIN in the first place. I click on the ‘create PIN’ link and jet over to site E.

At site E I am forced to enter my student ID, full name, date of birth and SIN (!) only to be told that my PIN has already been created, and that I should use the ‘Forgotten PIN’ tool instead. Thanks for that. I would, but I don’t have a security question set up. Of course, none of this would matter if any of the 6 email addresses I tried were recognized by the system, if there were some phone number I could call for assistance, or if some competent human at the school would just help me rather than point me to a Gordian knot of credential reset screens.

To think, this is the institution from which I’m seeking a post-graduate degree.

[tags]password reset, bad usability[/tags]

I want everyone like such as to love me

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

By now everyone’s seen the video of Miss South Carolina displaying her dumbassedness to the world. I’ve watched it about a dozen times since Sunday morning and, while it hurts me, it still makes me giggle.

This morning in the Toronto Star Antonia Zerbisias’ column addressed the famous video and ensuing fallout (she even took the time to transcribe the labyrinthine response), and rightly points out that Miss S.C. is now more famous than she could’ve ever become had she won the pageant.

By the time this has run through its full news, blog and late-night comedy cycle, more people will have seen this clip than have watched all the beauty pageants on U.S. TV in the past year. She’ll be a superstar.

What’s more, Upton has already entered the inevitable “redemption” phase of the process, with talk show appearances and high-fives from network TV hosts.

She also points out the stiff competition Miss S.C. faced:

And who was [the winner] again? Oh yeah, Miss Colorado, Hilary Carol Cruz, who was challenged in the question round with a choice between Paris, Nicole and Lindsay.

After professing that none is a role model – only not so grammatically – she went on to say she prefers Paris “because, in the end. She showed that she knew what was right and what was wrong.”

Meanwhile, Miss North Carolina Kaitlin Coble (second runner-up) said something about Canada being “down there.”

I really hope the “down there” comment was a Simpsons reference.

Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but it seemed like AZ’s column was defending Miss S.C. on the grounds that she’s managed to turn embarassment into fame. Certainly, being publicly idiotic in a country whose entertainment industry rewards public idiocy is an easy way to attain temporary celebrity status, and perhaps those who’ve figured this out (hi there, Paris) deserve respect for gaming the system, if not for any real merit. However, to think that Miss S.C. had this all figured out and was gaming the system might be a bit of a stretch.

[tags]miss south carolina, antonia zerbisias[/tags]

Like the ghost of Jacob Marley, but with a tail

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This morning, as the fog and haze lifted, all the buildings seemed to be breathing strangely.

.:.

Listen, I’m all for supporting our troops, and I have no problem with a stretch of the 401 being renamed to honor them. But really, can we not come up with something a little less cheesy than Highway Of Heroes? That sounds like a fucking Hallmark movie. Please, Ontario government, I’m begging you: give the highway a name that doesn’t sound like a Valerie Bertinelli vehicle.

.:.

My mother just sent me this email. For context: Stryder is my parents dog (a very big rough collie with a snout like an anteater), Tigger is my cat who died five years (who, for some reason, Stryder always idolized) and my mother is deathly afraid of mice and the like.

“I’m still shuddering. Someone had come for maple and we were talking in the yard when I see Stryder coming with something in his mouth. He drops it at my feet and it is a mouse! Still alive! The humans are trying to get away from him and he keeps bringing the mouse closer, trying to pick it up in his mouth. He must have had memories of his teachings from Tigger on how to catch and torture a mouse! I finally got him to drop it and come in the house. It might be playing ‘possum’ but right now it is lying belly-up. Stryder wants back outdoors but I’ll keep him here until it revives or your father comes to remove it.

I can see Tigger’s spirit watching, ‘That’s my boy!'”

I feel bad for the mouse, but I have to say, that made me smile.

[tags]401 highway, highway of heroes, collie[/tags]

The good, the bad and the criminally dumbass

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We saw The Bourne Ultimatum (imdb | rotten tomatoes) last night after work. It was really, really good. Almost surprisingly so, considering it’s a spy/action movie. Probably the best of the three films, in my opinion. It echoed the second film and retraced an important theme from the first. There was subtlety and subtext to go along with the fight sequences and super-agent stuff. It was well-paced and well shot (I like Paul Greengrass’ hand-held style). Great cast too.

Well worth your ticket price…and with a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes I guess I’m not the only one who thinks so.

.:.

At the other end of the film spectrum we find Bratz (imdb | rotten tomatoes) which is moving at a 9% clip on RT and inspired the following analysis:

“This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I’ll go as far as to call it one of the worst movies anyone’s ever seen. Bratz is one the worst movies a stillborn chicken in Peru has ever seen.” [Cinematical]

“But if your daughter feels far too good about herself or has bought into all this ‘It’s what’s on the inside that counts’ bullshit, then you not only owe it to your daughter to take her to this, but you owe it to the 20 or so guys that in ten years will be tagging her while she lies face first in a puddle of her own vomit. These girls don’t make themselves. They need your help, Dad. They need Bratz.” [Ain’t It Cool News]

“If you ever wanted a movie to put in the time capsule so future generations can puzzle over the bankruptcy of our current kiddie culture, Bratz is it.” [Boston Globe]

.:.

Let me give you an example of a big reason I wanted to move away from small-town Nova Scotia. This CBC News story is about a town very close to where I grew up.

Truro won’t be flying a rainbow-coloured flag at the town hall to support gay pride activities, unlike two other nearby Nova Scotia municipalities.

…

Council voted 6-1 against raising the flag to coincide with next week’s gay pride activities in Pictou County. Mayor Bill Mills is standing by the vote, saying, as a Christian, he simply could not support the request. “God says I’m not in favour of that and I have to look at it and say, I guess I’m not either,” Mills said.

The mayor said gays and lesbians already have equal opportunities and work and pension benefits, so he wonders what else they’re fighting for. By raising the rainbow flag, he added, that might open the door for other groups. “If I have a group of people that says pedophiles should have rights, do we raise their flag too? I don’t want to lump them in with homosexuals, but that’s the point, the issues, and that’s my feeling.”

Wow. That is some well-thought-out shit right there. He wonders what else they’re fighting for? How about a mayor who doesn’t imply they’re sexual deviants? Pedophile flags? Pedophilia’s illegal, you idiot. Although, it does raise the question: what kind of equality flag would homophobic public officials fly?

For every reason I love my home province, there’s some jackhole troglodyte like Bill Mills to remind me why I can’t move back yet.

[tags]bourne ultimatum, bratz, truro, mayor bill mills[/tags]

It was pretty funny when H-Simp punched N-Flan

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I’m liking my new blog template. If you notice any bugs (beyond the broken links in the consumption/mp3 widgets in the sidebar; already noticed those ones) let me know.

.:.

The Simpsons Movie (imdb | rotten tomatoes): pretty good. Little dopey toward the end, but solid laughs throughout. Much more sophisticated visuals than I’m used to seeing in the show, and humour a little more in the pratfall/timing style of the early seasons than in the more recent absurdist style. Good escapism for sure.

.:.

Daily Dose of Imagery has (yet another) very cool shot of downtown Toronto, including our condo. The perspective is misleading; our building (on the far left) is actually dwarfed by the big bank towers).

.:.

The whole athlete nickname thing where they use their first initial and the first syllable of their last name (e.g., A-Rod, J-Kidd, T-Mac, etc.) has gone too far. It was already silly when it got to J-Dub, but now that it’s reached Man-Ram, it’s just torn the ass out of the whole thing.

[tags]wordpress templates, simpsons movie, daily dose of imagery, toronto, athlete nicknames, manny ramirez[/tags]