Category: News

Hah bumhug!

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

It’s a grey, grey day. I’m wondering now whether having such a clear and panoramic view of the world outside is going to adversely affect my mood on days like this? I may be a scrooge for realsies by Christmas.

.:.

Last night’s Canadiens game was a beaut. Watched it on fast forward last night after Nellie went to bed. Montreal scoring 13 goals in two games? That’s five games’ worth at their usual scoring rate. Anyway, they’re back at it tonight against Pittsburgh. I shall watch it while I blast away at this paper (which is progressing quite nicely, thank you very much).

.:.

Still with hockey, if you want to live, do not play against the Philadelphia Flyers. For the third time this year a Flyer has nearly killed someone.

Boston Bruins centre Patrice Bergeron was taken off the ice on a stretcher Saturday after a scary hit from behind by Philadelphia Flyers defenceman Randy Jones.

Bergeron was chasing after a loose puck in the Flyers zone late in the first period when Jones closed in on him and drove his head into the boards with his forearm.

The 22-year-old crumpled to the ice and lay on his back motionless while the Bruins went after Jones, 26. Medical personnel cut away Bergeron’s jersey and shoulder pads as they worked on him, placing his neck in a brace. They placed him on a board and then onto a stretcher, his legs taped together and his arms folded across his chest. There was little sign of movement. The game was delayed some 15 minutes as he was treated.

I don’t know what you’re coaching down there in Philly, but jeezus…let’s take it easy with the attempted homicide, shall we?

.:.

Here’s a whole bucket of dumb for you:

  • This Florida mother mutilated her daughter’s genitals so that she wouldn’t enjoy sex…and was acquitted of the charges brought against her.
  • FEMA staged a fake news conference about the California wildfires. The White House needs to form a disaster management firm to fix all the stupid things FEMA does. I suggest the name metaFEMA.
  • Britney Spears’ mother is writing a book about motherhood. It’d better be called, “I’m sorry y’all, I blew that one.”

.:.

OK, back to work.

[tags]toronto weather, canadiens, hurricanes, penguins, philadelphia flyers, patrice bergeron, florida mother genitals, fema news conference, britney spears[/tags]

"Giuseppe!"

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

That was how my barber answered the phone today, as if he were four years old and his best friend had just run into his yard. He might just be the happiest guy I know. Here’s the typical conversation when I sit down in the chair:

Ralph: “So, how’s it going?”

Dan: “Pretty good, Ralph. How’re you doing?”

Ralph: “Ay, life is beautiful, my friend. As long as we’re here and we’re healthy, what else can you ask? #3 on top and #2 on the sides, right?”

Whether it’s Ralph or his buddy Nick who cuts my hair, I’ve never left there without a smile on my face. It’s a big reason I keep going back, really. It’s not like it takes a lot of hard-to-find expertise to cut my hair.

.:.

It’s a sad state of affairs when gay Dumbledore and a fainting Marie Osmond occupy the top of the news pile. One gets the feeling that if the Californian wildfires weren’t so ferocious we’d be discussing proper dancing hydration or wizard-cruising. For fuck’s sake, people, one of them’s fictional and the other might as well be.

.:.

The Dooney’s Cafe website has a great review of Naomi Klein’s new book The Shock Doctrine. I’m not making much headway on the book; I keep getting distracted by MBAishness.

[tags]barbers, dumbledore, marie osmond, california wildfires, naomi klein, the shock doctrine, dooney’s[/tags]

I'm not sure I even care to be that disinterested right now, to be honest

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Despite my recent inability to spend more than an hour doing school work, I have decided that today will be the ne plus ultra of schoolwork days. The ne plus ultra, I tell you. I am well-rested (I slept until 11 yesterday and 9 today), well-fed (just got back from breakfast at Over Easy), well-stocked (did grocery shopping after breakfast) and well-prepared (have two computers at the ready). I have no excuse not to get a lot done today except for sheer, unadulterated disinterest.

Don’t put it past me.

.:.

I know this headline shouldn’t make me laugh — it’s really quite tragic — but I couldn’t help myself. From the Globe and Mail:

Indian Official Dies In Wild Monkey Attack

If you’re gonna go, go while defending yourself from an army of wild monkeys.

.:.

  • Original weight: 233
  • Weight last week: 223
  • Weight this week: 222

Looks like I managed to correct last week’s blip.

[tags]mba, over easy, wild monkey attack, fatblogging[/tags]

What a waste of a monkey army

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Nellie shot this last week while I was away. Not sure what she was doing up that early…

.:.

We just bought a new zoom lens for the camera, and a bigger bag to carry all the stuff in. New camera gear and a new bag…she could hardly be giddier. She’s off to the spa now, while I start packing. I have to keep reminding myself that I should be in bed around 8:30.

.:.

It’s stuff like this that makes me laugh at religion, even as I fear it:

Hindu devotees believe the area between India and Sri Lanka – now known as Adam’s Bridge – was built millions of years ago by Lord Ram, supported by an army of monkeys.

But scientists and archaeologists say Adam’s Bridge, or Ram Setu, is a natural formation of sand and stones.

On Wednesday the Archaeological Survey of India told the Supreme Court that the religious texts were not evidence that Lord Ram ever existed.

Hardline Hindu opponents of the government accused the administration of blasphemy and protesters carried out demonstrations in the area and in Delhi, Bhopal, and on a number of key highways. The next day the report was withdrawn.

Great message to send, Indian government. Way to stand up for reason and common sense.

[tags]toronto sunrise, zoom lens, canon s3 is, ambika soni[/tags]

57.060%

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Tennessee used their electric chair for the first time in 47 years. Granted, they used it on a monstrous psychopath, but is that really a habit they want to revive?

.:.

Reading all the news about the film festival is just killing me. It’s like the biggest party of the year is happening the house next to mine and I have to study. However, at times like this I find solace in the immortal words of GB: “Suck it up, princess.”

.:.

I’m feeling a lot better this morning. I actually got to bed during The Daily Show last night and fell asleep just after the show ended. I woke up at 5:30 — my body just doesn’t know what to do with more than six hours of sleep — but I’m still in better shape than I was earlier in the week. Got some substantial work done last night too. Ooh, and my new shirt from m0851 is the most comfortable thing EVER.

That’s right, friends, things are almost coming up Milhouse…

[tags]tennessee, execution, electric chair, tiff, tiff07, daily show, lack of sleep[/tags]

I am constant as the northern star

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Fatblogging, ho:

  • Original weight: 233
  • Weight last week: 224.5
  • Weight this week: 223.5

Another week, another pound. At this rate I should be 67.5 pounds in just three years.

.:.

Tristram Shandy: A Cock And Bull Story (imdb | rotten tomatoes) was messy, intricate and very funny. It’s a film about a film about an essentially unfilmable novel, and I think I may have missed one or more “a film about…”s. Michael Winterbottom is quickly becoming one of my favourite directors.

.:.

There’s an excellent piece in Esquire this month entitled “God’s Not Watching Baghdad” that you should read if you have 15 minutes.

I was back in Iraq to see the president’s surge, to see if pushing more troops into Baghdad had made a difference. I had last been in Iraq two years before as a sergeant in an infantry company, patrolling its farm fields and city streets. On a good day, the country looks the same as it did during my deployments. Usually it looks much worse. Being back in Iraq, I hoped, would be a brief sojourn to reality, a break from America’s version of the war, where the battle lines had been drawn by fearless sloganeers: “Cut ‘n’ Run” or “Bring ‘Em Home,” depending. Where the debate no longer has much to do with Iraq and its people — other than the shitty smorgasbord of daily violence touted as evidence of either the mission’s futility or the dangers of quitting. Mostly, I wanted to make sense of why this had gone on so long with so little progress and see how the war looked to those tasked with the salvage operation.

Read the full article.

.:.

An article popped up in my feeds this week that resonated on a couple of levels. The Coast, the Halifax alternative weekly paper I used to read all the time in university, recently ripped off Passive-Aggressive Notes, a blog I quite enjoy. P.A.N. reposted the article, including this picture, which made me laugh my ass off. Ha ha ha ha. Soyfucker.

It also reminded me of an east-coast delicacy: donair pizza. I never liked donairs themselves (that sauce always made me sick) and I couldn’t eat the pizzas, but I used to loooooove eating the donair meat. I don’t even know what kind of meat it was (ostensibly I think it was meant to be lamb) but I still crave it every time I’m in Halifax.

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Finally, after my brain being rendered mush by work and school for many months, it has sunk in: I’m going on vacation in two weeks. My thought priorities now seem to be as follows:

  1. Vacation
  2. The film festival, even though I’m missing it this year
  3. Work
  4. Scarlett Johansson
  5. Rehabbing my wrist
  6. Losing weight
  7. Keeping my fingernails tidy and well-clipped
  8. School

[tags]fatblogging, tristram shandy, the coast, passive aggressive notes, donair, france, scarlett johansson[/tags]

"I wanted you to be present."

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Last night we watched Caché (imdb | rotten tomatoes), a rather unsettling French film. It built tension slowly and steadily, but never plodded. It showed how terror can suddenly bubble up after years and years of a low, quiet simmer. It wasn’t until the end of the film that I realized the two most effective devices: excruciatingly long POV shots and a complete absence of music.

Highly recommended if you have an adult attention span.

.:.

Liiiiink linkity-link-link-link:

* note: I do not have a happy dance.

[tags]caché, alberto gonzales, google transit planner, pogge, onion[/tags]

Like the ghost of Jacob Marley, but with a tail

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

This morning, as the fog and haze lifted, all the buildings seemed to be breathing strangely.

.:.

Listen, I’m all for supporting our troops, and I have no problem with a stretch of the 401 being renamed to honor them. But really, can we not come up with something a little less cheesy than Highway Of Heroes? That sounds like a fucking Hallmark movie. Please, Ontario government, I’m begging you: give the highway a name that doesn’t sound like a Valerie Bertinelli vehicle.

.:.

My mother just sent me this email. For context: Stryder is my parents dog (a very big rough collie with a snout like an anteater), Tigger is my cat who died five years (who, for some reason, Stryder always idolized) and my mother is deathly afraid of mice and the like.

“I’m still shuddering. Someone had come for maple and we were talking in the yard when I see Stryder coming with something in his mouth. He drops it at my feet and it is a mouse! Still alive! The humans are trying to get away from him and he keeps bringing the mouse closer, trying to pick it up in his mouth. He must have had memories of his teachings from Tigger on how to catch and torture a mouse! I finally got him to drop it and come in the house. It might be playing ‘possum’ but right now it is lying belly-up. Stryder wants back outdoors but I’ll keep him here until it revives or your father comes to remove it.

I can see Tigger’s spirit watching, ‘That’s my boy!'”

I feel bad for the mouse, but I have to say, that made me smile.

[tags]401 highway, highway of heroes, collie[/tags]

Conviction. Salvation.

Dan DickinsonLeave a comment

Remember a month ago when I said that the bloodthirsty hordes should wait until Michael Vick is actually found guilty before calling for his head? Well, he plead guilty yesterday. Put on your lynchin’ shoes and warm up the tar. I hope that punk gets the max.

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Crapmonkey. I don’t want to watch another season of 24 but now I may have to. From The TV Show Blog:

“Although details are scarce at this point, according to Michael Ausiello over at TV Guide, Janeane Garofalo is the newest member of the cast of 24.”

Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.

[tags]michael vick, 24, janeane garofalo[/tags]