Empty promises, phallic symbols, indie darlings and a state of readiness

Some issues are important to society at large and legitimately worthy of changing/swaying someone’s vote. Others are not.

.:.

Torontoist has a good piece on the CN Tower, which will only be the world’s tallest free-standing structure for a few more days or weeks.

.:.

I don’t know why, but I feel guilty for liking Vampire Weekend. And really, I only like three songs (“Walcott”, “Campus” and “A-Punk”) but I’ve been listening to them a lot lately. Still, I feel like a bandwagon jumper.

.:.

As of tonight I have finished all my pre-work for my course. Well, 99.9% of it. ~15 minutes tomorrow night and I’m set for Sunday. I also picked up a French road map today, and bought a new shirt & tie…finally starting to feel somewhat prepared for everything.

[tags]religious school funding, february holiday, cn tower, vampire weekend, mba[/tags]

I am constant as the northern star

Fatblogging, ho:

  • Original weight: 233
  • Weight last week: 224.5
  • Weight this week: 223.5

Another week, another pound. At this rate I should be 67.5 pounds in just three years.

.:.

Tristram Shandy: A Cock And Bull Story (imdb | rotten tomatoes) was messy, intricate and very funny. It’s a film about a film about an essentially unfilmable novel, and I think I may have missed one or more “a film about…”s. Michael Winterbottom is quickly becoming one of my favourite directors.

.:.

There’s an excellent piece in Esquire this month entitled “God’s Not Watching Baghdad” that you should read if you have 15 minutes.

I was back in Iraq to see the president’s surge, to see if pushing more troops into Baghdad had made a difference. I had last been in Iraq two years before as a sergeant in an infantry company, patrolling its farm fields and city streets. On a good day, the country looks the same as it did during my deployments. Usually it looks much worse. Being back in Iraq, I hoped, would be a brief sojourn to reality, a break from America’s version of the war, where the battle lines had been drawn by fearless sloganeers: “Cut ‘n’ Run” or “Bring ‘Em Home,” depending. Where the debate no longer has much to do with Iraq and its people — other than the shitty smorgasbord of daily violence touted as evidence of either the mission’s futility or the dangers of quitting. Mostly, I wanted to make sense of why this had gone on so long with so little progress and see how the war looked to those tasked with the salvage operation.

Read the full article.

.:.

An article popped up in my feeds this week that resonated on a couple of levels. The Coast, the Halifax alternative weekly paper I used to read all the time in university, recently ripped off Passive-Aggressive Notes, a blog I quite enjoy. P.A.N. reposted the article, including this picture, which made me laugh my ass off. Ha ha ha ha. Soyfucker.

It also reminded me of an east-coast delicacy: donair pizza. I never liked donairs themselves (that sauce always made me sick) and I couldn’t eat the pizzas, but I used to loooooove eating the donair meat. I don’t even know what kind of meat it was (ostensibly I think it was meant to be lamb) but I still crave it every time I’m in Halifax.

.:.

Finally, after my brain being rendered mush by work and school for many months, it has sunk in: I’m going on vacation in two weeks. My thought priorities now seem to be as follows:

  1. Vacation
  2. The film festival, even though I’m missing it this year
  3. Work
  4. Scarlett Johansson
  5. Rehabbing my wrist
  6. Losing weight
  7. Keeping my fingernails tidy and well-clipped
  8. School

[tags]fatblogging, tristram shandy, the coast, passive aggressive notes, donair, france, scarlett johansson[/tags]

"I wanted you to be present."

Last night we watched Caché (imdb | rotten tomatoes), a rather unsettling French film. It built tension slowly and steadily, but never plodded. It showed how terror can suddenly bubble up after years and years of a low, quiet simmer. It wasn’t until the end of the film that I realized the two most effective devices: excruciatingly long POV shots and a complete absence of music.

Highly recommended if you have an adult attention span.

.:.

Liiiiink linkity-link-link-link:

* note: I do not have a happy dance.

[tags]caché, alberto gonzales, google transit planner, pogge, onion[/tags]

"In 1759, Voltaire wrote a book called Candide…"

The Quill & Quire explores the Bush administration’s recent (and rather funny) tendency to compare themselves to literary characters:

They’re doing it again: earlier this week, former Bush adviser Karl Rove compared himself to both Grendel and Beowulf. Before that, he was Moby Dick.

Now, Rove’s ex-boss, one George W. Bush, is doing it – in a speech defending America’s continued presence in Iraq, Bush cited – wait for it – Graham Greene’s The Quiet American.

It would be even funnier if anyone believed Bush had actually read Graham Greene. It gets better though:

Again, Bush was citing a book about the dangers of American overseas naïveté to support his argument in favour of staying in Iraq. The best part is, as can be seen here, Bush’s critics have often cited the character of Alden Pyle to criticize the president’s foreign policy.

I’m guessing that’s the last time Bush lets his speechwriters reference any book not containing testaments.

.:.

IndieTits raises a very good, if spectacularly crude, question about the New Pornographers.

[tags]quill & quire, karl rove, george bush, beowulf, moby dick, quiet american, graham greene, indietits, new pornographers[/tags]

I just not that into your mov…Oh hello, cast list.

My birthday present has finally been installed: outdoor speakers. We can now listen to music on the balcony, or even watch TV with full sound. They sound really good, maybe even a little better than I expected them to sound out there. Thanks baby!

.:.

I have no interest in Kanye West’s music, but like my friend Joe, I may just buy his new CD when it’s released next month. In fact, I might buy multiple copies. Why? ‘Cause Curtis has been runnin’ his mouth, that’s why.

.:.

There’s a movie being adapted from the book He’s Just Not That Into You (amazon). Men have not heard of this book, but many women have, especially those (based on what I’ve heard about it) those who lack in self-esteem and/or functional synapses. I could imagine no situation in which I would watch this film…until I saw the lineup. Now I’m almost considering it: Jennifer Connelly (who would be on my all-time top five laminated list, if I had one), Drew Barrymore (umm…backup list?), Ginnifer Goodwin and now Jennifer Aniston. Madre de dios. If Scarlett Johansson or Parminder Nagra join the cast I may quit my job and just hang around outside the film set.

[UPDATE: guess I’d better write out my resignation]

.:.

Spacing asked a very good question yesterday: why hasn’t Toronto mayor David Miller imposed — or even seriously considered — road tolls? With the city in such dire financial straits, wouldn’t a few hundred million dollars come in handy? And that’s forgetting the environmental benefits, the reduced traffic, the fewer (in theory) pedestrian/cyclist deaths, etc.

Even The Economist is asking the question. Spacing goes into Miller’s explanations for rejecting the idea, but none of them pass the sniff test, especially coming from a Harvard graduate in economics. In my opinion he’s either getting pressure not to do it, or is afraid of the pressure which would inevitably come.

[tags]sonance, outdoor speakers, kanye west, fifty cent, he’s just not that into you, jennifer connelly, drew barrymore, ginnifer goodwin, jennifer aniston, spacing magazine, david miller, economist magazine, congestion charge[/tags]

"The feel-good media moment everyone's looking for."

No better way to shake off a shitty day than to read this headline from The Onion: U.S. To Re-Hang Saddam Hussein.

Most observers considered Hussein’s execution, which was carried out by Iraq’s interim government and broadcast in grainy, amateur footage, to be creepy, gruesome, and generally lacking the sense of triumphant catharsis authorities had hoped for.

To remedy the public relations failure, Hussein’s body has been dug up from its burial place near Tikrit and wired together by U.S. Army forensic experts to ensure that it holds its shape during the ceremony. The re-hanging, which will be aired on all major networks and accompanied by a 30-minute retrospective highlighting the many reasons why Hussein was a terrible person deserving of this ignoble end, will be “brighter, cheerier, and more upbeat,” than the first attempt.

Thanks Onion.

.:.

Some advice: never, ever order a shrimp dish from a takeout thai restaurant. It’s just asking for trouble.

[tags]onion, saddam hussein, bad seafood[/tags]

Carrying on the good Hume name

This morning in the Toronto Star Christopher Hume leveled a j’accuse at the city of Toronto. Not at the mayor, city council and city administrators (though they, by extension, are targeted too), but at us. For those of you outside the city (or who live here but don’t follow the news) Toronto is dealing with the latest in an ongoing series of budget crises. This time budget cuts for social services loom, though the city councilors refuse to give up their recent pay raises or cushy perks, even as a symbolic gesture. Hume points the finger squarely at the collective citizenry of the city, the province and indeed the country for electing the numpties (to borrow a word from my brother) who get us into these messes. A sample of Hume’s column:

We’re the ones who reward politicians who tell us the fantasies we want to hear, not the truths we need to hear. We’re the ones who have made it impossible for leaders to talk about anything much more substantial than tax cuts.

Aided and abetted by the media, we ask the wrong questions and get angry when we don’t hear the wrong answers.

We’re the ones who vote for the Mel Lastmans and the David Millers because they promise they won’t raise taxes. Then when the spit finally hits the fan, we turn around and scream bloody murder.

Democracy boasts many virtues, but it also has serious weaknesses, including the fact that it allows citizens to vote thoughtlessly and without regard to reality. Indeed, look at who gets elected to see just how irrational, even moronic, the process has become. How else does a George W. Bush end up the most powerful person on Earth?

Sobering words, but not angry ones. I got the sense that Hume was writing from a place not of rage, but of frustration. My own sense of pragmatism tells me that democracies will act stupidly for some time, but will correct that stupidity over time. Hume’s a smart man, so I suspect he understands that too, but we’ve now reached the point in Toronto’s struggles — some ten years into amalgamation — where the populace should be getting smarter about these things, but isn’t.

And Toronto, as he points out, is only a symptom of a larger problem. He raises the spectre of George Bush, surely the ultimate example of this non-thinking approach to democracy. We can observe, south of the border, the slightest of twitches in the pendulum, suggesting it’s about to swing back to (relative) normalcy in reaction to eight years of a fairytale kingdom led by a child prince. Hume seems frustrated that Torontonians, who cast so smug an eye toward such goings on in America, do not show the same signs of turning the corner.

I think Hume’s column, brave as it is, will be largely ignored; most people don’t like to stare their own ignorance in the face. But it will resonate with thinkers, and will shame a few of those with consciences who’ve struggled to reconcile their voting habits in past years. For all our pride in social programs and rich society, by and large Canadians still vote for themselves and for the short term. Hume’s column implores us to use our brains, to think of each other first, to look beyond glossy promises and stale placards. If only our elected leaders had the courage to ask so much of us.

[tags]christopher hume, toronto star, toronto city council, democracy[/tags]

First rule of order: no more tuna

No matter how shitty a day you have — and believe me, I had a shitty day — these two things can make it a little bit better:  “No Pussy Blues” by Grinderman and a little lolcat action.

.:.

Man alive, it’s hard to function without your thumb. Buttoning a shirt, signing your name, tying your freaking shoes…all nigh unto impossible. Seriously, I’m convinced that our development of opposable digits is the only thing that’s keeping us in control of the planet right now. If dolphins (or even Jack Russell terriers) ever get thumbs, we are in serious trouble.

I, for one, welcome our delphinine overlords.

.:.

Britain has asked Israel to re-open the case of James Miller, a reporter who was shot by an Israeli officer while filming in Gaza four years ago. I blogged about this three years ago after watching a documentary about Miller on the first anniversary of his death. It was one more tragic story from a region rife with them. This appeal will surely cause an outcry in Israel, but one has to admire Britain’s doggedness in seeking justice for one of her citizens.

[tags]grinderman, lolcat, opposable digits, james miller[/tags]

In which I join the club. The pudgy, pudgy club.

Let the banners fly and the champagne flow: we actually went to see a movie today! Gasp wheeze snort! Yup, a real live honest-to-Hollywood movie, our first in a theatre since seeing 300 in way back in March. We saw Knocked Up (imdb | rotten tomatoes), which was pretty good.

It just feels good to be back in the game.

.:.

The least surprising thing I’ve heard this week: George Bush has commuted Scooter Libby’s jail term.

US President George W Bush has intervened to prevent Lewis Libby, a convicted former vice-presidential aide, from serving a prison term. President Bush described as “excessive” the 30-month sentence Libby was facing for obstructing an inquiry into the leaking of a CIA agent’s name.

Do you ever wonder if Bush does this stuff just to fuck with Tony Snow?

.:.

I have decided to join the fatblogging club. I’m no good at self-motivation so I figure telling the world that I’m about 40 pounds overweight and then living in fear of the mockery will help things along.

See, the last time I was a normal weight — about 190 pounds — was back in 2001. Back then I was single and didn’t eat regular meals (as I do now that I’m married), didn’t eat as a social occasion (as I do now that I have a foodie friend or two), exercised a lot more, didn’t work nearly as much and didn’t have an MBA on my plate. I figure I have to reverse/correct at least a few of those trends, and soon — I’d like to buy a new suit in a couple of months. So, to recap:

  • I’m currently about 233 (which puts me just below “obese” on the BMI scale)
  • I should be about 194 (to get my BMI back into the “normal” range)

Clearly I won’t cover 39 pounds in two months short of some creative surgery, so I’ll aim for 214 (the halfway mark) by Sep 1. I’ll give weekly updates. I await your praise/scorn.

[tags]knocked up, scooter libby, fatblogging[/tags]

Emilio Estevez must be so happy

The Stanley Cup has been won by the Anaheim Ducks. I’ll bet there are a lot of people who never expected to hear that sentence. At least they dropped the “Mighty” from their name and ditched the dopey logo.

.:.

I almost never remember my dreams. Maybe once or twice a year I’ll wake up and actually remember something, even just a few seconds. But when I do, it’s always about the same thing: a plane crash. Big plane, small plane…here in Toronto, back on my parents’ farm…it’s always a plane crash and I always see it happen. Every single time.

Let the psychoanalysis begin.

.:.

In case the civilized world needs another reason to ban the death penalty:

At Christopher Newton’s execution by lethal injection last month, it took 90 minutes and at least 10 stabs of the needle for the execution team to find a vein. The procedure was so drawn out the staff paused to allow Newton a bathroom break.

Sickening.

[tags]stanley cup, anaheim ducks, dream interpretation, death penalty[/tags]