Category: TV

Since when does "card" rhyme with "world"?

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More musical pain: corporate bonding a la David Brent. [via]

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The 2007 rock n’ roll hall of fame nominees have been announced: R.E.M., Van Halen, The Stooges, Patti Smith, The Dave Clark Five, Chic, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, Joe Tex and The Ronettes.

The first five I agree with. Grandmaster Flash and The Ronettes I could live with. I have no freaking idea who Joe Tex is, so I’d be surprised if he/she/they made it. If Chic gets elected, I will make it a goal in life to visit Cleveland and piss on the hall of fame, nay, on the very essence of rock n’ roll.

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I watched Cinema Paradiso (imdb | rotten tomatoes) over the weekend. I liked it a lot; I’m really annoyed that I read an article several months ago giving away the last scene (the article was about films that make men cry, and this was a popular choice), but it was still very worthwhile. Highly recommended, unless you’re my mother or Stanzi, in which case you’ll cry for the last 20 minutes.

[tags]bank of america, rock n’ roll hall of fame, cinema paradiso[/tags]

What would Mallory Keaton say about Senate finance reform?

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Tonight was the screening of Babel (imdb | rotten tomatoes) to which I won a free pass last week. It was, like the last Iñárritu film we saw — 21 Grams — intricate, even delicate in how it displayed human frailty and trauma. It was compelling and well told; we didn’t really notice that it was 2.5 hours long.

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Sadly, the same can’t be said for a film I watched earlier in the week. Slacker (imdb | rotten tomatoes) may be a cultural document, but it feels badly dated fifteen years on. I actually stopped it 1/3 of the way through; it was alternately getting on my nerves and boring me. I wish I’d watched it in 1991, but I truly had no idea anything like that was happening in the world in 1991. I was in cultural Siberia.

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I downloaded two new albums from eMusic: Dust Bowl Revival by Ox and Quiet Waters by Woolly Leaves. Both are alt-country/folk style, and quite mellow. Ox is a band my brother turned me on to, and they do some mean Woody Guthrie covers; Woolly Leaves are the band of a member of The Constantines.

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After giving it an honest-to-goodness try to see what all the fuss was about, I deleted my MySpace account this morning. I found it both a popularity contest (which I want no part of) and an entry-level blogging tool (which I have no use for). On top of that, it looks like it was designed by a drunk guy in 1998. MySpace is the AOL of our decade; it’ll be dead (or massively repurposed) soon enough. Good riddance.

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What would Alex P. Keaton say about stem cell research? Forget that; what would Jennifer do? Or Nick? Or Andy? Or — God help us — Skippy? By the way, whatever olympic-class fuckwit asked Michael J. Fox that question should be sterilized. No sense keeping those genes in the mix.
[tags]babel, inarritu, slacker, ox dust bowl revival, woolly leaves quiet waters, constantines, myspace sucks, alex p keaton, michael j fox[/tags]

The price of: rice-a-roni; parking; aiming high

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Bob Barker’s been hosting The Price Is Right longer than I’ve been alive, but he’s decided to hang it up next year. I bet he’ll be really good at grocery shopping.

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Richmond upon Thames is one of the nicer neighbourhoods in London, and has decided to triple (or treble, depending on where you’re reading this) the parking fee for SUVs. I can’t imagine a Toronto neighbourhood like Rosedale or Hogg’s Hollow trying this.

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The latest evidence that people are dumb: more of them watched CSI: Miami than watched Studio 60 (which has now been canceled). Thanks a lot, dull squishy middle.

[tags]bob barker, richmond upon thames, suv parking, csi miami, studio 60[/tags]

Pepsi sounds kinda like peptic. Coincidence?

Dan Dickinson2 Comments

I just can’t get over American political attack ads. Check out this example from the Globe and Mail:

“If Brad Miller had his way, America would be nothing but one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals,” the ad says, as mariachi music plays in the background.

Of course there was some fuss earlier in the week about a racist attack ad aimed at Harold Ford Jr., since pulled. It also got a lot of attention north of the border as it took a swipe at Canada staying out of the Iraq war. It didn’t really bother me that much, especially once I saw the rest of the ad. Why should it? Since when should we care what a racist, or someone who’d stoop to racism, thinks about our military record?

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NBC will not show ads for the new documentary about the Dixie Chicks, Shut Up And Sing, but the speed with which the production company jumped on the story…I don’t know, it just smells like a publicity play to me.

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So, I think I might have an ulcer. Or maybe just really bad heartburn; I’m not sure yet. Basically I’ve had heartburn since I got back from the Rockies three weeks ago; a couple of days ago I started watching what I ate and have drunk only milk, and the heartburn’s gone. I even had some hot sauce on my eggs this morning and a Diet Pepsi around noon and I feel fine. I was under the impression that ulcers were caused by stress, but that’s not the case…which makes sense, ’cause I never feel stressed. I’m a very happy guy, despite what some people think. Anyway, I’m fairly certain the cause is the 3-can-a-day Diet Pepsi habit (or more; in my Delano days I got so little sleep that I drank 4 or 5 a day just to stay awake) I’ve had for several years now. Obviously, and probably for more reasons than just stomach acid, it’s time to give that up. What’s really going to suck is that I’ll now be giving up meat and Diet Pepsi at the same time. Worse yet, I need to lose weight, so chocolate’s probably off the menu for a while as well. No meat, chocolate or DP; November’s gonna be a fucker of a month.

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In happier news, we’re gonna go see a movie tonight (D.O.A.P.) with CBGB, it’s my nephew’s birthday, tonight our clocks fall back and it’s less than 8 weeks ’til I’m back on the farm for the holidays. Sounds like my whole family (including the afore-mentioned nephew and my nieces) will be there as well. I’m looking forward to it since we weren’t all together at the same time last year.

[tags]attack ads, harold ford jr, nbc, dixie chicks, ulcer, diet pepsi, death of a president[/tags]

"My two lovely friends"

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It’s true: Deal Or No Deal is the dumbest game show ever. It’s so dumbed-down, and requires so little brainpower from both contestant and viewer, it makes Wheel Of Fortune seem like a Mensa chapter meeting.

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Speaking of the addle-minded, I have a new name for Leafs forward Darcy Tucker: SuperPussy. On Tuesday he was so pissed about his team getting crushed (final score: 6-2) by Ottawa that he started beating on Patrick Eaves, who’s probably never fought in his life. Happily, Ottawa didn’t retaliate tonight by going after Kyle Wellwood or some similar non-combatant; instead they blasted the Leafs 7-2. Between that and Montreal’s last-second (well, almost…they scored with 1.2 seconds left) win over Boston, I’m a happy guy.

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A co-worker pointed out last night something I would never, ever have guessed: many of the Popeye’s Chicken & Biscuits outlets here in Toronto serve halal chicken. When she first told me I thought she meant the entire chain, and I thus deemed her insane. But in fact, it appears to be true, so…yeah. That’s pretty weird. Of all the places I expected to serve halal meat, Popeye’s isn’t one of them.

[tags]deal or no deal, mensa, darcy tucker, patrick eaves, leafs, senators, popeye’s, halal[/tags]

Ben Hur race: ass lightning or spiked chariot wheels?

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Sorry about the lack of blogging over the past couple of days. I’ve been kind of heads-down with work, errands and this stats assignment. The assignment’s mostly done though, so I can relax for a few days.

Today we ran around town doing a bunch of things:

  • We went to see the World Press photo exhibit at BCE Place, which was pretty compelling. Some of the images were disturbing, none more so (to me, anyway) than the little girl crying after seeing American troops shoot her parents at some checkpoint in northern Iraq. She was covered in blood and looked terrified. You get the sense that the girl is completely, utterly lost to the world. There’s no saving her. It was awful. If the American public thinks it’s getting the real story about Iraq, they haven’t seen that picture.
  • We shook that off (pictures of animals and sports on the way out dulled the ache) and walked over to our condo’s new sales centre. They have two furnished model suites ready for viewing, one of which is ours. It was good to get in there and finally see & feel what our unit will be like. There are some minor differences — our ceilings will be 9 feet, not 8 feet like in the model, we have a huge balcony, and our unit will be much higher — but it was still a thousand times better than trying to imagine things based on a floor plan. Nellie blogged about it yesterday, and included a picture.
  • We picked up some scrumptious breads and a pie (whose scrumptiousness I can’t vouch for as yet) at All The Best, got nostalgic for lunch at the Quail & Firkin (I had a C.O.B. and many fries, after which I felt awful) and picked up a new bed for the cats at Canadian Tire. After that, and some grocery shopping, I was ready to come home and have a half-nap. Getting my ass up for the stats assignment…Herculean.

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We also watched a movie called Stardom (imdb | rotten tomatoes), directed by Denys Arcand and starring (rowr) Jessica Pare. It wasn’t great, but I laughed at the parts where they skewered celebrity culture. My favourite: the “Annual Slalom for Bosnia” charity event.

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The religious right is whipping the TV industry like a rented mule. Beating it like a red-headed stepchild. Smacking it like it stole something. NBC has agreed not to show Madonna singing a song from atop a cross during her TV special, airing next month.

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From tederick we find this story about a woman who experienced the feeling of lightning shooting out her ass. Zowie! Is there anything Croatians can’t do?

By the way, kudos to tederick for the use of a post-carbonite-Han quote. Don’t try that at home, kids.

[tags]world press photo, condo, quail and firkin, all the best, stardom, nbc, madonna, tederick, ass lightning, han, carbonite[/tags]

I like that fucking Black Darjeeling

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Ah, Deadwood. If it doesn’t have the best one-liners ever, I don’t know what does. Another favourite: “He likes to berate the gimp mornings.”

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Scarlett Johansson, avec Dita Von Teese (Marilyn Manson’s wife) poses for some S&M photos. You’re welcome. [via Buddha Canvas]

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Speaking of Scarlett, she’s recording a Tom Waits cover album. That should…wait, what?

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Shoot. The Catholic bishops have wandered into the lawmaking again. Where’s my broom?

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Lunenberg might be getting a strip club. Question: would it be part of the UNESCO site?

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What a coincidence that a 10,000-year-old meteorite should be dug out of the ground in Kansas. No doubt they’ll have trouble convincing some of the locals who think the earth is younger than that.

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Still on the topic of idiots, a garbage disposal manufacturer is suing NBC because of a scene in last week’s Heroes depicting an indestructible girl’s hand getting mangled (and then healing, natch) when she sticks her hand in one of their products. Of course, you couldn’t really read the brand name. And even the simplest of the simple would know that sticking your hand in an operating garbage disposal would cause it harm. But yeah, sue those fuckers. Twice.

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More idiots: George W. Bush and the Congress he rode in on. The bill he’s just signed into law means that anyone suspected of terrorism isn’t guilty until proven innocent, they’re in purgatory. You know it’s gotta be a peach when the executive director of the ACLU calls it “one of the worst civil-liberties measures ever enacted in American history.”

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The recording industry has launched 8,000 more file-sharing lawsuits. Now where’s my buggy whip?

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OK, back to the Catholic bishops: some of the quotes from Winnipeg Archbishop James Weisgerber are just knee-slappers. Gob-smackers, even. Check it:

“As leaders, we are guardians of long traditions of wisdom”

Really? ‘Cause I was 17 when your church admitted you were wrong about the whole “We condemned Galileo ’cause he said the earth revolves around the sun” thing. Also, as I pointed out to someone recently, you still officially have it on the books that communion wafers become the body of Christ somewhere between the beak and the gizzard. You may not really admit it in public anymore, but…yeah. No need to go on, but you’ll pardon me if your promised knowledge of “long traditions of wisdom” don’t set me all a-twitter.

“People don’t really have a sense of personal sin or reflection. We are becoming a more selfish and hedonistic society.”

Catholicism (or any other religion) does not equal morality. In some cases it’s quite the opposite. Anyway, that’s the same tune that church officials have been whistling for centuries and we’ve somehow managed to avoid Armageddon.

[On the issue of gay marriage] “We really need in Canada to support families.”

Now you’re pissing me off, padre. Once again, let me help you with the math: marriage != straight-and-child-bearing-only club. Besides, if you let gay people get married, wouldn’t that just create more family units? Or would you just like Canada to support a certain type of family?

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I find this whole religion thing difficult. About 80% of Canadians practice some kind of religion, including many of my family and friends and other people I respect. I couldn’t care less if they’re religious, or about the particulars of what they believe. But when religious people try to impose their beliefs on the public, and especially on the law, I get annoyed. I hope some of them do as well.

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By the way, sorry for the brain dump; I was sick yesterday and this stuff just built up. OK, off to eat and watch some Friday Night Lights.
[tags]deadwood, scarlett johansson, tom waits, catholic bishops, gay marriage, lunenberg, garbage disposal, heroes, nbc, dubya, file-sharing, buggy whip[/tags]

Like he wasn't a big enough twat already

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Darcy Tucker loves him some Dubya.

“I would like to pick his brain,” Tucker said. “I think his political views are on the same line as my own. I think the wave of the future is someone who doesn’t back down to terrorism.”

Oy.

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Sometimes I hate living in Toronto. Tonight, my only option is watching the Leafs play Calgary instead of being able to see Montreal open their home season against Ottawa. And can someone explain to me why even French CBC isn’t carrying the Canadiens game?

[tags]darcy tucker, dubya, maple leafs, canadiens[/tags]

Mystery, wonder, freshness

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TV notes:

  • I like the new trend of shows not having opening credits with a long stupid song. Even ER has scaled back their marathon jingle.
  • People playing teenagers on TV are usually much older than their characters, hence, I don’t feel so dirty ogling the cheerleader on Friday Night Lights (who’s actually 26). However, I feel extremely dirty now that I’ve learned the cheerleader (do we see a trend here?) on Heroes is only 17.
  • The Colbert Report: better than the Daily Show?

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Sports notes:

  • The Canadiens took 5 of 6 points on their season-opening road trip, including a win over Philadelphia last night. Not a bad way to start, I guess.
  • Also: the Raptors don’t seem to suck too badly yet, though it is only the preseason. They won last night to go to 2-0.
  • The NBA has announced their plan to crack down on whining and bitching after calls (or non-calls). Say a prayer for poor Vince Carter.

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Political notes:

  • Stephen Harper accuses all of the Liberal party leadership candidates of being “Anti-Israeli.” At least he restrained himself long enough to keep from calling them anti-semitic.
  • I don’t think the US can get out of Iraq right now. I think they should be trying their hardest to get out as soon as possible — and I don’t think they are right now — to minimize loss of life on both sides, but in the short term I think they need to stay. Obviously, I think it was a mistake of staggering proportions to invade Iraq in the first place, but now that they’ve made this mess they have to clean it up. You can’t kick down the door of a house, shoot one of the occupants, break all the furniture, set the place on fire, piss on the hallway floor and then just walk out yelling “My job here is done!” If you walk out of the house now, the guy you shot will bleed to death and the house’ll burn to ground. Now that you’re there, you’d damn well better put down the gun and grab a firehose to fix the problem you started. You broke it, you gotta pay for it. Tragically, the currency will be lives. Not that the guys who dreamt up the invasion care about that.

[tags]er, friday night lights, heroes, colbert report, canadiens, raptors, vince carter, stephen harper, iraq[/tags]

Brain –> page

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The Onion’s A.V. Blog reports that two of the TIFF films that I’m most anticipating might have trouble getting on screens south of the border. I suspect no such issues here in Canada, but it’s a sad state of affairs. As the article states,

“In both cases, films are being shut out of theaters for their ideas, not for any explicit or offensive content on the surface. These gatekeepers have basically decided that adults need to be shielded from ideas that they deem inappropriate. They’ve creating a special rating and it’s called GFY (Go Fuck Yourself).”

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I might be in the minority, but I’m all for Hockey Night In Canada moving from CBC to TSN/CTV. Why? Because I, like most of the rest of the country, can’t stand watching the prime time game being called by a pair of Leafs homers who’re on the down slope of their careers. Bob Cole and Harry Neale may be nice guys, but you may as well go watch the game in your Toronto-fan grandpa’s rec room. Gord Miller’s a better play-by-play man, Pierre Maguire’s better at colour (and actually knows the names of some non-Leaf NHLers), and they have guys like Bob McKenzie, Glenn Healy, James Duthie and Chris Cuthbert to boot.

The best part: no more Don Cherry. I’d like it if they could salvage MacLean somehow, but if he has to be sacrificed in order to distract Cherry while they pack up the HNIC set, then so be it.

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Because all my music is encoded at 128kbps (it’s the only way it’ll all fit on my Nomad) I’m thinking this would be a good investment.

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Hey, WOXY’s back.

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Slides in a museum; bitchin’. My brother’s already mentioned it, but this exhibit at London’s Tate Modern looks very cool. When I was there that hall was filled with a giant (and I do mean giant; it was about a hundred feet tall) double-ended red horn.

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If I have time tonight I’ll try to post more pictures from our trip. Day 3 was the motherload (400+ pics) so it could take me a while to slog through them.

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I’ve finally had to pick up my next textbook. However, it’s a statistics course, and I find stats kind of interesting. Sick puppy, I know.

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New TV: Heroes has me hooked. Studio 60 is, apparently, in trouble, proving once again that Aaron Sorkin is too smart to write for television. I haven’t watched Friday Night Lights yet, but if it’s as good as the movie I’ll stick around for the ride.
[tags]d.o.a.p., deliver us from evil, hockey night in canada, creative xmod, woxy, tate modern, statistics, heroes, studio 60, friday night lights[/tags]